Dear Guy,
When I first meet you on Hinge, I didn’t think much about you. I thought you were going to be just another guy I would talk to, but never actually go on any dates with. In the beginning, everything was great. We talked every other day and you seemed nice enough. You were honest about not wanting to jump into a relationship quickly, and I respected that because I wasn’t sure how long we would talk. We talked for about a month and then we went on our first date–I was super awkward and nervous. I thought our first date went okay, but you still kept talking to me so I thought maybe this was a sign.
Oh, how wrong I was!
Photo by Sasha Freemind
After our first date, we saw each other two weeks later and I was still pretty awkward and nervous, but I was happy with how things were going between us. We would talk on the phone or text each other a few times a week and I thought that was fine. I understood that you were busy and couldn’t always talk to me. I was giving you the benefit of the doubt. However, there were a few things that made me question you such as you bragging about your confidence, ignoring my messages on text or Snapchat, and the two times you hung up on me and never apologized.
Things really took a turn for the worse once March came because we had been talking for three months and had only physically seen each other three times. Each time we had seen each other we became more and more physical. I was thinking we were moving pretty fast. My first big warning sign from you was when you asked me to do a sexual act for you and when I told you I wasn’t comfortable with it, you told me you were disappointed in that. I was quite upset with you and confused by it. You did apologize for it, but I had to bring it up to you in order to get the apology I wanted. I was stupid for letting you get away with that because I was going to let some guy control me and convince me to do something I didn’t want to do.
Photo by Andrew Hutchings
The real kicker came last week, when you didn’t respond to my messages on Snapchat. When I called you out for disrespecting me, you did apologize but you started making excuses again for why you never wanted to see me. You also couldn’t give me a straight answer on how you felt about me, saying you didn’t know and how you went through heartbreak before and how it was because we had only been on three dates. You, sir, are the reason why we aren’t going on that many dates. The cherry on top was when you called me on Friday and basically told me that we can still be friends, but our relationship is over because I’m too emotional and confusing. Newsflash, buddy: emotions aren’t a bad thing at all and while it’s fine for you to not be emotional, at least have self awareness and respect for others to know that sometimes people are going to respond to certain things in an emotional way.
Someone who was truly interested in me would not try to hide from my emotions, he would embrace them. He wouldn’t make up excuses as to why he’s ignoring me or not talking to me often. He also wouldn’t be cocky and try to convince me to do things I didn’t want to do. He would try to see me more than once every six weeks. He wouldn’t act like the victim to try and get my attention and try to confuse me. He would answer my question on how he felt about me or bring it up on his own. You are a manipulator, someone who thinks they can control me and get me to do whatever you want and then after you are done with me, you threw me away like I was nothing. Well I have news for you, I’m done with you and all your crap.
As Ariana Grande once sang: thank u, next.