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Lost in Translation | How to Communicate with Men

This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Iowa State chapter.


For centuries, women have been trying to bridge the ever frustrating communication gap between ourselves and men.  Try as we might, men never seem to truly understand what we are trying to say, and vice versa.  Somewhere along the way, our words get lost in translation, otherwise known as the code of women.  Here’s what you can do to break the barrier and be heard loud and clear.

The first step is to spell out exactly what you are feeling.  Honestly, we tend to think guys can read our minds or can read the emotions we are feeling from our facial expressions.  Unfortunately, that is just not the way it works.  Telling a guy, “We should hang out sometime,” or asking, “What are you doing tonight?” are not clear indicators (to him at least) that you have feelings for him.  If you truly have feelings for someone, tell them straight up with no mind games.  Laying all the cards down may make you vulnerable, but it instantly clears up all communication issues.

Another communication issue created by (I hate to say it) women, is the vague responses we give to men.  The most classic issue-causing answer between the genders is, “I don’t care,” when in reality, we do care very much.  Why can’t we just come out and say that it does matter and we do care?  Perhaps we’re afraid of appearing demanding or like a complainer.  However, there is a big difference between giving our opinion and complaining.  A guy wants to know your stance on issues, hence him asking the question in the first place.  If he asks, “Where do you want to go eat tonight?” don’t give the generic, “I don’t care,” response and then get upset when he chooses the “wrong” place.  Speak your mind and you’ll both be happier.


Lastly, it is important not to read into things too much or over-analyze.  As women, we tend to see secret meanings behind every text and email, picking apart each line, trying to make more out of the conversation than it really is.  I have found this to be my biggest fault, personally.  Every time I receive the response, “yeah” or the even more frustrating, “okay,” I find myself getting angry.   However, there is no need to try to de-code a short response from a male.  Most likely he is either busy, or not big on texting.  Guys don’t want to type a novel; they want to get to the point quickly.  Men are only trying to communicate in a fast, efficient manner, and who could be mad at them for that?!

Miscommunication is one of the most common issues between the genders.  While there will always be somewhat of a gap, realizing and embracing our differences help us understand men a little better.  Always speak your mind and say how you feel.  Your love interest will thank you for it!


 

Photo (of couple) Source: binababy12