As a freshman, one of my biggest fears entering college was that I was going to have a difficult time meeting new people. Some of the kids I graduated high school with had been my classmates for at least ten years of my life, and it was hard to believe that we would all be going our separate ways. Going to college meant a new set of experiences and opportunities, but it also meant having to go to a place where the girls on my dorm floor had no idea who I was. One of the most daunting aspects of freshman year is meeting new people, but after my first month of college, I’ve come up with a few tips and tricks to do just that.
Keep your door open.
I know that literally everyone says this (honestly, I think every single one of my family members told me this during my going away party), but it is a good piece of advice. I remember the first week of being moved in, I literally sat in my room and cried and kept my door shut and locked. Though it is necessary to have time to yourself, simply leaving your dorm room door open can lead to great relationships. For instance, one of the girls on my floor stopped by and gave me a cookie because she saw my door open. It may not lead to you finding your future bridesmaid, but it still gives the impression that you’re available and open to interacting with others on your floor.
Get out of your room.
Honestly, one of the easiest things to do is actually get yourself out of your room and go outside. Even if it’s just to take a walk or sit in the quad, it’s possible to meet someone new. See a frisbee game going on? Ask to join in, even if you don’t know the first thing about frisbee. Small actions can end up going a long way.
Join a Club
This could be literally anything. It could be academic, charity based, religiously affiliated, or anything else. There’s bound to be at least one group that you can find yourself clicking with. I mean, there’s even a medieval combat society at Illinois State. Yep, a club where you dress up and fight each other with foam padded weapons. Whatever even remotely interests you, don’t be afraid to see what different clubs are all about!
Don’t be Afraid to Branch Out of Your Comfort Zone
Yet another cheesy piece of advice that gets repeated over and over again, but it’s only because it’s the truth. If you had told me on my first day on campus that I would end up going through sorority recruitment, I probably would have called you crazy. However, after giving it much thought and doing a little exploring (I went to a few informational sessions and talked to some girls already in sororities), I decided to give it a chance. And, the amazing thing is, I can now say that I’m glad I decided to put myself out there. Entering different houses and trying to be completely relaxed and be myself was hard, but I can now say that I put in the effort to give it a try. Through it, I’ve gained a group of girls that I can talk to when I see them in the dining hall, or who have offered to set up a day when we can go see a movie together. Even if things don’t end up working out exactly how you wanted to in the end, at least you can say you gave things a shot.
Utilize your Roommate, But Don’t
Hanging out with your roommate can sometimes be a double-edged sword: you definitely should take the time to get to know the person you’ll be living with for the school year. But you don’t want to rely on them to provide opportunities to socialize. Sometimes, going out with your roommate can make going to events around campus seem less daunting, and it can make you feel less alone while you’re at school. Roommate doesn’t want to join you at that class in the fitness center? That’s okay too. Feel free to invite them, but also realize that college is the time to explore your interests: take advantage of the new sense of independence and participate in things you actually want to participate in.
Recognize that These Things Take Time
You may see other kids at your school making friends almost instantly: after all, their posts on social media depict them at parties and football games with a group of twenty people, but don’t be discouraged. Social media is social media, and don’t put your focus on feeling the need to “catch up” to everyone else. I’ve only been at school for a little over a month now, and I feel confident enough to say that I haven’t found my best friends yet, but that’s more than okay. Friendships develop at their own paces.
Honestly, you’d be surprised: every day is a new opportunity to start making a new connection. I remember saying hello to a girl in the communal bathroom a few weeks back, and she didn’t say anything to me. She just finished washing her hands and walked out. Situations like this will happen. Even though it can be discouraging, there’s always someone out there who will impact your day in a positive way. For instance, one day I was down in the laundry room and a girl came up to me because she noticed the band name on my sweatshirt. We both liked their music, and we stood and talked about it for a few minutes. Though it didn’t end up amounting to anything, it still felt nice to know that she was willing to spark up a conversation with me. Because after all, you never know where simply asking the kid sitting next to you in history class how their day has been will take you…