A saying that I hear the most is “In order to love someone else, you have to love yourself first.” So what does loving yourself even mean? Does it mean you have to love every single thing about yourself? Does it mean self-care and putting yourself first? Everyone has a different definition of what self-love means to them, and for years I have been struggling to find my own definition.
I didn’t know how to love myself, and the most frustrating thing for me was no one could help me. I always thought that nothing could fix me and my negative thoughts about myself, but throughout my self-journey I learned that I didn’t need to be fixed. I wasn’t broken, and all I had to do was change some things and my mindset in order to figure out how to love myself.
Change is hard, and I tried so hard to change my self-hatred thoughts. I always felt like I wasn’t good enough (as many of us do), and I couldn’t stop thinking about my flaws. I tried to say positive affirmations to myself, and I tried to smile more and spend a little more time by myself. However, nothing seemed to be working. I might have loved myself for a day, but that love never lasted.
It wasn’t until I read a book called the Self-Love Experiment that I decided to step into this beautiful journey of self-love. Shannon Kaiser shared her story, and I remember when I first read it that I started to cry because it was so relatable and I was glad I wasn’t the only one feeling the way that I did.
I know that saying reading a book changed my life is really dramatic, but I wouldn’t have decided to start my self-love journey if I hadn’t read her book. I am a huge believer in signs, and I was on Amazon one day buying a textbook and that book came up. After reading the book, I was finally ready to start loving myself more. The key word is ready. I wasn’t ready before. I wasn’t ready to understand why I didn’t love myself, and I wasn’t ready to truly dig deep and know who I am as a person.
Once I dove into this journey, it was so powerful. I knew that I wasn’t going to wake up the next day and love myself, but I definitely had made a lot of progress and feel so much happier.
I am starting to find joy in the smallest things, and I think that’s what life is all about: being able to make yourself happy through the littlest things.