Let me make this clear: my boyfriend and I had no plans getting into a serious relationship. It was all fun and games until our friends started asking questions, which pretty much kickstarted the whole “So… what are we?” convo. We were having fun — and we didn’t want to ruin that. I mean, could you blame us? Relationships are scary! But sometimes you just got to dive into the unknown.
Fast forward to a year and a half later, we’ve managed to face and overcome different obstacles as a couple (yeah, we’re shocked too). It’s funny how things turn out to be the complete opposite of what you initially anticipate to happen. We went from thinking that we’d only last a few months to helping each other get closer to our dream careers. That, my friends, is what I like to call character development! Being in a “grown-up” relationship has taught me a thing or two.
- Patience
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(Cue my BF’s laugh) Bro, patience really is a virtue. One of you could catch the worst attitude ever, while the other has the option to either fight back with a nastier attitude or be the bigger person in the situation. TBH, the latter is always the best approach because you won’t solve anything by irritating each other more. The way I see it: when your significant other is handling the situation maturely, you’ll realize you’re being quite irrational and not making anything better.
Being patient surely applies to so many other situations. If you’re in a relationship, you have to understand that there will be days where you need a whole lot of patience. You can’t just give up and refuse to work it out together.
- Contentment
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Let’s be real here: disappointment roots from very high expectations. I’m not saying that you shouldn’t set your expectations low (LOL says the girl who did when she got into a relationship), but make sure you know they are attainable. In real life, relationships are not always #relationshipgoals like you see all over social media. Enjoy and appreciate what you have. Don’t compare it to what you think or assume others have — no one ever really knows what goes on behind closed doors. Focus on what’s yours and grow it.
- Communication
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You’ve heard this a trillion times, but I’ll just remind you again that communication is key. When you’re mad about something, (for goodness’ sake) don’t expect your SO to know how to fix it. First of all, you have to express how you’re feeling and explain why you’re feeling that way. Your boo ain’t a mind reader! Like, how you going to expect him to know everything? There’s no reason to be upset if the other person doesn’t have any idea.
And, communicating accordingly is how you avoid petty arguments. You have to talk it out, dude. This is will make or break what you have. If you can’t communicate with each other, then it might just not work out well.
- Understanding
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You and your SO are two people — not one. You both have separate responsibilities and commitments. What I’m saying here is, they can’t cater to your needs 24/7 and vice versa. You don’t always have time to just chill with them all day, and neither do they. Work. School. Extracurricular involvements. You get it, right? The world won’t (and shouldn’t) solely revolve around your relationship.
With adulting, work commitments always arise. Your mans could’ve just started his first big boy job, which could mean he won’t have as much time to visit you at college. It could also be a school thing where you have multiple exams coming up and you can’t afford to see him that weekend because you need to study instead. As long as you feel for each other, none of these situations should cause an issue between the two of you.