Moving to a different state by yourself is a pretty big thing. In my case, I was leaving behind a close knitted support network that consisted of my family and the long-time friends I’d met way back in preschool. So, there was a pretty big transition looming ahead for me.
Furthermore, already living in the midst of a pandemic wasnʻt exactly the most helpful thing with this transition either. Imagine coming into a place you thought you knew from visiting multiple times in your life, only to find it as a ghost town riddled with lots of uncertainty about the future. The dynamics definitely narrowed down the chances of finding friends around here, especially in person.
What I ended up doing was relying on social media a lot to find people, more specifically, through the Bumble dating app. At first I thought it was a good idea because I figured that Iʻd have some experience guessing a little about peopleʻs personalities based on how they presented themselves in my Zoom classes. But, the realm of connecting and meeting people online is still an entirely different playing field.
Thereʻs two modes of Bumble that Iʻve experienced – one being the regular old dating mode that I still cannot figure out for the life of me, and the other, which is Bumble Bff. Bumble Bff is like the more relaxed sister to Bumble dating. Icebreakers with BFF matches arenʻt quite as far fetched as the ones girls may get on the dating mode, and I feel like thereʻs more genuinity in connections if you match with the right people when both are just looking for friendships.
Of course, that isn’t to say that thereʻs no risks to this. Meeting people online definitely goes against your parentsʻ “donʻt talk to strangers” rule that they constantly reiterated during your childhood. You just have to be careful about the whereabouts of when and where you’re going to meet, like meeting up at the mall after days of texting.
The other side of risks is the low likelihood that connections online would actually occur. With this day and age, socializing and connecting is hard to maintain. You first have ghosting, which is an apparent thing nowadays. A conversation could be going well for even a few days until the other person just ceases to exist and does not reply back. Then, you have the circumstances as to why people are on the island and looking for others to hang out with. Itʻs common to see peopleʻs include statements like, “donʻt swipe right if youʻre vacationing” or “Iʻm not going to be your tour guide” on peopleʻs profile bioʻs. These kinds of statements imply a desire for more fulfilling and long-term connections instead of being used for their time as simply a tourist guide.
Whatʻs also common is that long-term friendships may be disrupted due to the influx of those moving off island now that their purpose of staying there is done – such as schooling or military services. It can hard to be motivated to try and find new connections within the difficult circumstances here, especially in cases where people have to cope with best friends leaving the island and starting anew. But, I’ve come to learn that despite these hardships, I should practice gratitude from having the capability to live in a place that allows for opportunities of meeting many people anywhere you go. A friend of mine who has lived here for almost 10 years recently told me that his way to proceed through these circumstances is to “enjoy people for the time they’re here in your life”.
When people do leave, it’s probably for a good reason – like a twin flame fulfilling their duty by helping you grow as a person. So, as disheartening as it is, thereʻs always a brighter side of things. From living here for a while, I always look forward to what life has to give me, even if the connections I make are quite temporary.