A majority of “ordinary moms” have it easy. Military moms, however, have it very hard. They have no choice but to be strong for the family and act as the “head of the house” while their spouse is on deployment.
My pops has been in the Navy for about 23 years now, ever since he was 19. My mother has six kids, with me being the oldest and the best. She has also been the support system for all of us, including my father. I cannot imagine the stress that is put on her to keep us up and going everyday, as well as herself.
Every single time my pops leaves for deployment, it breaks our heart. It’s like a Niagra Falls of tears for everyone. For me and my siblings, it’s a cry for not being able to see our caring, loving, hilarious pops for a long time. But I always wondered if my mother’s tears were for him being gone or the weight of the world all on her back now, alone. Just like someone snapping their fingers, she would wipe her face really quick and comfort us like we were all that mattered. Doesn’t she matter too?
The hardest aspect for my mom and many other military moms is balancing their kids lives. If you are anything like my family, we all are involved in various sports and activities. From day to day, it would be my mom who drove us from one practice to the next and it would be her who tried to come to every single game to support us. She is the one who gets us dressed in the morning and makes sure we look presentable for school. She is the one who makes sure we are healthy and has food on the table every night. Not to mention, they still have to work for a living and take care of daily responsibilities.
As young kids, we did not recognize what my mother was going through. We certainly acted like we didn’t even care. In a way, we sort of made it harder on her by being uncooperative. At the time, we did not know that after working a long day, she just wanted to relax and rest. Instead we wanted to go places or hang out with friends, so she would take us because she wanted us to have and enjoy everything.
Now that we’re older, we understand. In a way, I sort of became another “head of the house.” I could finally drive, which meant I could help her out. So now it was me and my mom driving my siblings to games and various activities, supporting them at games and splitting who was cooking dinner that night. I definitely got a small bit of how she felt. It was so much work. But even then, with all the help, it seemed to take a huge toll on her. That never stopped her from getting up the next day and repeating the process.
I am now in college, and all that weight is back on her. I feel guilty for leaving sometimes but this is what my ma, pops and even myself wanted for me. She continues to tell me she is doing great, but it’s hard for me to believe that because it’s so much of the weight of the world on her back. The other day she told me, “God does not give you more than you can bare. You are worrying just like your dad. I am perfectly fine and so are you, so you worry about college and know I am actually doing okay down here.” That was the best advice she has ever given me and now I feel like a weight has been lifted. Being a military mom is the hardest job in the world. Supporting your husband or spouse, supporting your kids and then finding some way to support yourself at the same time is just incredible.
To all the military moms, we salute you. Thank you, ma…for everything.
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