Respecting Motherhood While Not Wanting to Be One

I love my mom so much. Raising two children and successfully passing them off into adulthood is undoubtedly an act of unfaltering love and strength. I look at all the mothers in my life with such pride and admiration but I want all of our readers to know that pride and admiration for motherhood does not require a desire to become one.

From a young age, society tells us as women what to do and when to do it. What age to have your first kiss by. When to have your first boyfriend or girlfriend. When to find your life’s partner. When to settle down. Settling down always seems to be accompanied by the notion of having children. 

Let’s face it, motherhood is a sacrifice. Motherhood is rooted in selflessness and dependability. Motherhood is an 18 plus year commitment. You can love motherhood and not want to be a mother. I feel the pressures placed on us as young women can make people feel a sense of inadequacy or shame if motherhood is not a personal goal. 

I’ll be the first one to tell you, you aren’t selfish if you don’t want children and it’s also okay if you have no earthly idea of whether or not having children could one day be your reality. Motherhood is an act of female agency (no matter how many lawmakers governing our bodies would like to believe otherwise), both the choice to pursue it or not. You can invest in other aspects of changing human existence and still be valuable and successful within society. Personally, once I started to view motherhood as a choice versus a measure of life’s fulfillment, Mother’s Day became all the more meaningful to me. My mom chose to bring me into this world and give me the gift of life, what an act of pure love. 

That’s what it all comes back to, love. Wherever you disperse your love and passion for life, one choice does not outweigh the other. And aren’t love and passion everchanging? Don’t feel locked into what you believe is expected of you. 

Hug your mama extra tight this Mother’s Day, collegiettes!