I never really expected things to feel the way they do, but then again I didn’t really know what to expect.
I went my whole life without having a real relationship. Then, I met someone who was absolutely amazing. They made the past 10 months breeze by in a good way. I feel a bit naive but I imagined them to be the one. I didn’t think I was ever going to find someone who was willing to do things in a way that made me feel comfortable and respect my boundaries. Someone who shared similar life experiences and had a great sense of humor. I thought all of these were the signs that this was the perfect match and I’d never find anyone better. Things change though, and you can’t ever really account for that.
When coronavirus hit and cut the semester short, we had to go long distance and our entire relationship changed. We didn’t have any time in person together. At first, it was fine because technology is amazing and we would talk all the time. But things started to die down. My perspective changed on a lot of things and I found myself realizing that I was looking for something different. That where I was isn’t where I’m supposed to end up. Those thoughts played in my mind over and over for months. I thought about putting it off until school started, to wait and see if it got better. But in the end, I decided that it was best for both of us if we didn’t play with our emotions.
So, I called them and we talked. We had a tough conversation. I cried. We thanked each other for the time we shared and the experiences we had. They were my first real relationship. My first for a lot of things. I will always be grateful for that. I’m just really glad that we shared this experience and that we can both move forward as friends in the future. I feel like a part of me shut down. And I have a lot of thoughts and worries running through my mind. But in the end, I know that we did what was best for both of us and that’s what matters.
I learned a lot from this experience, and I know that I will always look back fondly on the memories and what they taught me. Breakups are tough, but we’re tougher. If you’re going through something like this, just know you’re not alone; it’ll all work out in the end.