What do people mean when they say, “In order for someone to love you properly, you have to love yourself first”? Although it is a very commonly used saying in talking about love and relationships, no one really ever explains or goes into depth about why loving yourself is the first step to a healthy relationship. To be clear, loving oneself doesn’t and won’t mean the same for everyone and this is simply because we all interpret, accept, and receive love in different ways— figure out your love language here. Since we all live through different experiences, see the world with different lenses, and carry ourselves differently, it is only reasonable that love is just as complicated (sadly).
Related: 5 Reasons Why Everyone Should Know Their Love Language
Let’s be real, being single kinda sucks. But it can be so beneficial to us! Allowing ourselves this alone time allows us to grow, mature and, eventually, find the perfect partner for you. Being single isn’t great in the ways that yeah maybe you do want to cuddled every here and there but it allows us to think: “okay, what else can I do to feel better than be cuddled right now?” The evident, and sometimes unwanted, solitude forces us to explore new options and different alternatives that could better you not only as a person but as a lover.
So now you may be wondering: “why would I go through all this hassle to learn more about myself if I’m trying to eventually be with someone else rather than myself?” But we subconsciously answer that question when presenting it. In a traditional relationship, two individuals agree to be bound to one person but that doesn’t mean that the two individuals lose their individual identities to become one individual. When separated, the two beings will be able to live and function on their own and in the case of disaster, go back to living their separate lives. The emphasis of the question is in the end, “to eventually be with someone rather than myself.” To be the best future-partner one must know themselves well enough so that their partner can read that off them. For instance, imagine your S.O. trying to throw you a birthday party if you had no unique interests- the party would suck! This is why you should give yourself time to learn more about yourself in order to love yourself. So, whether you’re alone or with someone this Valentine’s day, make it worth it! Try something new because you never know, you may end up loving it.
Although love is very complicated and confusing, it is definitely worth it, collegiettes!