To Whom It May Concern,
It’s not you, it’s me. We have been through so much together for so long. I have only myself to blame. For years I had nurtured you until you flourished and engulfed every inch of my being. You were and always will be my guilty indulgence. I’ve never been able to separate myself from you but now I have replaced you for someone new. Someone kinder, wiser and with a voice filled with purity.
Somehow, sometime you managed to manifest in even the brightest crevices of my life leaving me behind with only sorrow and loss. There is no tangibility to our relationship, only fantasy and despair, yet for years I let you drag me. I’ve struggled tirelessly to rid of you but deep in my heart I realize it isn’t possible – you will always walk beside me – only today I am taking control over the pace. No longer will your unpredictable waves reign me, pushing me to be the distasteful woman you think I am. Enough is enough.
I’ve never loved you, I would even say I hate you. Your toxic taste in my mouth lingers for minutes, sometimes hours and in extreme cases days. Your sweet nothings infiltrate my mind and cloud me with the intoxicating fumes of self hatred. You had me believe that I am less than, a never will be. I am constantly being told everyone has a You. You who have broken down so many beautiful souls, You who have taken so many precious lives, You who build yourself up by tearing others down. Enough is Enough.
You will always be a part of me but for once you will not BE me. My voice will finally ring louder than yours. I am a more than, a will be. This is the start of my new relationship and for once I will not cave to your whispers of malice and fall to your deception. Goodbye Insecurities, it’s about time you take the backseat and let me run this course of mine.
Confidently,
The New Me
*A Letter to anyone who has struggled through insecurities and have bravely tried to overcome them. Be gentle with yourself, every step of courage is one step closer to where you need to be.