The past year has been one of the most trying years of my life, but it may have also been one of the most self-efficient & growth-filled years of my life. While it’s been challenging, I’m one of the few fortunate people that can say I not only survived, but I came out so much better for it. I’ve laughed a lot and I’ve cried a lot, but most of all, I blossomed. Throughout all of the challenges I’ve faced and the reflection I’ve done, I learned to love myself for the first time ever in my life.
The past few months shocked the world and forced us all to take a break from what was considered normal. Normal for me meant keeping busy, not having more than an hour or two to myself each day. I went to class, went to work, went to student org meetings, went out with friends, and more. There was never a moment where I could really just sit still. However, the pandemic changed that and allowed me to truly sit still for the first time in years. It was in that time that I sat with my thoughts and really reflected on who I was and who I wanted to be. I had a long road ahead of me, but the first step was learning how to truly love myself. These are the tips that helped me accomplish that.
- Journaling.
Every day for the past year, I’ve written in a journal. I’ve answered prompts, documented dreams, mapped out my deepest hopes and desires, and even wrote love letters to myself. But most importantly, I reintroduced myself with who I was. After all, how can you work on who you want to be if you don’t know who you are? On some days, writing entries felt like a chore, but it was all worth it when I came back months later and saw the progress I made. My progress served as motivation to keep going. Journaling sounds cliche, but I promise it works.
- Listening to Music.
Listening to your favorite music when you’re down is one of the most classic tricks. However, I used a little trick that has probably changed the way I listen to music forever. Years ago, a friend suggested that listening to your favorite empowering (or even love songs!) and pretending that you’re singing them to yourself was a great confidence booster. It sounds a little cringe-worthy, but it truly made me feel a lot more empowered and confident. I was the main character of each song and when I sang them to myself, it reminded me that I had someone in my corner, even if that someone was me. Need a couple of songs to try it out? My personal favorites are “Warrior” by Chloe x Halle, “Get Well Soon” by Ariana Grande, & “Adore You” by Miley Cyrus. I guarantee if you listen to these songs with yourself in mind, you will feel so much stronger.
- Looking in the Mirror.
This may come off vain at first but think about it. We look in the mirror every day for small tasks such as doing our hair, applying makeup, or checking our outfits. But when is the last time you looked in the mirror without a reason attached? When’s the last time you looked in the mirror just to appreciate yourself? I’ve struggled with depression for years, so at times, I actually loathed looking in the mirror and would actively avoid them. It wasn’t until I slowed down and reflected on my thoughts that I took the time to actively look in mirrors just to admire myself. Eventually, it was second nature to just look in mirrors and compliment myself for my flaws and all.
- Taking Pictures.
Similar to avoiding mirrors, I also avoided pictures like the plague. I hated taking them and I hated to go back and look at them because I would always immediately focus on my flaws and nothing else. To combat this, I started taking pictures of myself every day just for the hell of it.. I took pictures both with and without makeup, with and without aesthetic backgrounds, and with and without fly and trendy outfits. Regardless of how I looked that day, I never missed out on a picture. I haven’t posted the majority of them to socials, but it’s nice to have them in my camera roll to look back on. A year and over 700+ pictures later, it’s been one of the best things I could have ever done for my confidence. The pictures today serve as handy reminders of how I’ve changed and there is a noticeable difference in my face and the happiness reflected in it today.
- Reminding Myself that it’s Okay to Have a Bad Day.
Allow yourself the luxury of having bad days. It’s okay to have bad days. One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned is that it’s okay to not be okay. We are not perfect beings. Your body isn’t going to be perfect at all times and that is 150% okay. You are going to have days where your hair doesn’t turn out how you want it or where your jeans don’t fasten after a meal and that is okay. In fact, if you don’t have a bad day once in a while, you may be being too hard on yourself. What’s important is that on those bad days, you recognize your flaws and you appreciate them. Cherish your mind, body, and soul with all that you can because they work so hard to take care of you. Lastly, allow yourself to feel your feelings. Don’t let them build up. If you want to laugh, laugh. If you want to cry once or even a hundred times, cry. If you want to feel nothing, feel nothing. Allow yourself to have a bad day and allow yourself to process the emotions that come along with them.
The journey to loving yourself is a long one. It can be longer for some or smoother for others. Nevertheless, it’s a journey that we all have to take at some point. For me, it’s been a long time coming and now that it’s finally here, it’s been one of the most self-fulfilling journeys of my life. However, it’s important to note that the journey to self-love is a process and it’s never ending. Even when you think you’re there, you never stop learning or improving. While we all want to get to the destination, the journey is just as important, if not more.