Girl Code: When She is in the Wrong

As women, our whole lives we have lived by this standard that we are to protect our sisters. There is this mentality of sisters before misters or bellas before fellas, one hundred percent of the time. However, we never hear someone talk about defending those who are right over the friendship of an individual.

Girl code states various different and unwritten ‘rules’ that are almost supposed to be common sense. Some of these include:

  1. Telling her the truth about an outfit she chooses, no matter how bad

  2. Being her personal photographer

  3. If you go someone together, leave together

  4. Travel to the bathroom together

  5. Boost and hype each other up

  6. Help her draft long text messages

  7. Never ditch each other for a S.O.

And lastly number 8: Never let your girlfriend go through a break up alone.

I have sworn my life by these and many more unspoken rules. The basics of friendships and what the obligations were until about a month ago when something changed my mindset. Take us back a little time, I was going through a rough breakup with someone I was with for quite some time. Naturally, I believed that I would have my best girlfriend by my side helping me through the overwhelming ray of emotions I was feeling nevertheless, that was not the case. I was not embraced with open arms and comments of “it will be okay” or “it just means it was not meant to be!” Instead, in the days following my breakup, my fragile heart was ambushed with comments like “go get so motivation,” “get off the couch” and “why don’t you do anything around here?” This is when I realized that Girl Code is not really set in stone.

I would like to think that it is my fault that friend of mine and I do not speak anymore, however, I know that it was her decision. She claims that she was there for me when I was going through a tough time and I was not there for her, even though that is the far from the truth. Today, I take it as a blessing. The two of us bent over backward for each other, just in different ways. Whether the various Girl Code rules were followed or not, this one hurt me the most. In one of the hardest times I had to go through, I had to go through it solely alone.

Girl Code is not real. These rules that we have infixed into our minds do not, in fact, exist. Our human race has created this standard of what a girlfriend should do and who they should be in a friendship. We should start choosing individuals based on their actual qualities instead of what society is telling them about the characteristics they should possess.