The Five Stages of Finals Season

Thanksgiving break is over, which means there’s only a limited number of weeks left to either kill or raise your GPA, or go die in a hole -- literally. This is the time of the year that everyone dreads, especially since professors intentionally try to test your limits by pushing an abundant amount of assignments and information on you at the last minute.

One phrase I love to use to sum it up is this: “Satan may be working hard, but finals season is working harder.”

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Here are the five stages time of the year that I usually see both myself and my peers go through as we prepare for the ultimate battle -- finals season.

Stage 1: The Determined Student Stage

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You come up with this marvelous study plan to tackle all the last minute assignments so that you can begin actually studying for your exams. You usually grab your academic planner that you have neglected all semester and make it pretty with color coded notes and dates that you think you are going to complete. During this stage, you are the most ambitious you have been since the first day of classes.

Stage 2: The Denial of Procrastination Stage

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So maybe you completed one or two things on your to-do list for the day, or you let yourself miss a due date by a day because you were “practicing self-care.” This is the real stage when all hell breaks loose. You use that “importance of well-being during finals” email from the University as an excuse to go out and get drunk AF with your besties before Winter Break, even though you have an assignment due at 11:59PM the next day. You are totally in denial of your procrastination and all you can hear in your mind is “YOLO.”

Stage 3: The Admitting Stage

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Finals week is right around the corner and you have already checked Blackboard, only to realize that you need a 400 on the final to get an A. Your GPA is in true survival mode at this moment and any mishap can either break you or magically turn into a blessing. Maybe you shouldn’t have been downing tequila shots the other night when you should have been studying.

Stage 4: The “Facing It” Stage

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It’s officially the start of finals week and all you’ve dreaded from this nightmare is finally here. You are not prepared at all, you have spent countless nights pulling all nighters, and if you go in Starbucks one more time and the Barista recites your order to you before you even place it, you might scream. You walk into the lecture hall preparing for the worst to happen even though you thought all your hard work this semester would pay off. Sis, it’s definitely going to be okay.

Stage 5: The Whatever Stage

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The nightmare is finally over, but now it’s time to face reality. So what? You didn’t get an A in anatomy and totally bombed your calculus final. All that matters is that you kept your dignity. You always have next semester to step up your A game and come out shining. Take this time to enjoy a good Netflix binge over break  so you can forget about fall semester drama.

Trust me it’s all worth it in the end, collegiettes.