This is going to be a stronger-opinionated article, so buckle up kiddos, I have a lot to get off my chest.
It has been a while since the movie Tall Girl came out and received more criticism than the praise they wanted for showing a tall girl in popular media. Mine might be an unpopular opinion, and while some parts of the movie might have been insensitive and problematic, you cannot deny that all body types and people deserve some representation in media. Popular responses might be that tall girls do not have it hard because being tall automatically makes you one step closer to looking like a runway model and thus you have the privilege and no right to complain. But the truth is, that being tall, especially as a girl, puts you in a weird spot in the patriarchy, but also in general, with family, friends, and even other girls.
Egos are fragile, correct? And toxic masculinity is definitely a thing. Whether it is competitive males insultingly calling your body a, “hookah,” after observing that you are a few inches taller than them, or guys asking if you are wearing heels, and when hearing, “yes,” following up with, “good, I do not like when girls are taller than me,” it is hard being tall in this world. I have even had professors who stand up every time they speak to me, specifically, or even appear standoffish when I speak to them versus when my other, shorter, female friends approach them. Outside of the professional world, I have found myself worrying about if I am taller than a guy I am about to meet, hoping that I do not somehow make him feel insecure and disinterested in me.
Ladies, it is not your responsibility to make men confident in themselves, even though it might sometimes feel like your fault.
In this patriarchal world, the love stories and romances we see are set on the premise of sweet, feminine women falling in love with tall, jacked men. In many movies, they literally place the male actor on stools, or worse, make women crouch in scenes, if, God forbid, the woman is an inch taller than the man. Growing up watching these films, where the final scene had the woman gazing up into her lover’s eyes, tall girls did not feel represented, and I, personally, felt like if I was ever taller than a guy, he would not be interested in me, or I would not be able to experience that romantic ending scene for myself.
Quick mid-article disclaimer: the representation in media is obviously lacking more for other identities. But there is no competition. If you feel underrepresented and disadvantaged in certain respects, your opinion is valid. Which is why I am honestly super annoyed with all the comments on Tall Girl. While representation of tall girls might not be as explicitly missing as that of women of color or women of different sizes, their disadvantage in the patriarchy as affected by popular media is not any less important.
It seems that if you have any trait that a supermodel shares: their height, facial features, skinniness, then you are automatically out of the protection offered by the body-positivity club; that you have no legitimate right to complain anymore.
This is not okay. When a tall girl voices her insecurities, the response of, “shut up, you’re tall, so,” is not ok. Any comments of, “why are you wearing heels? You are already so tall,” is not ok. Any comments shaming women for wanting to feel like a bad-ass by wearing heels because you might feel insecure is not ok. It is not any woman’s responsibility to bring other women up by bringing themselves down. It is not any woman’s responsibility to make you feel secure at their own expense. Women can bring themselves and others up simultaneously.
And this is why the body positivity movement has to be more inclusive by everyone involved. The days of dismissing a taller, skinnier girl’s insecurities because she has those features should have ended a long time ago. The fact that anyone’s concerns are brushed off at all, is not ok and is actually furthering the problem at hand.
If you walk away from this article thinking that I am insensitive or problematic or whining over something that is actually a privilege, please reread the article.
If this article was a bit too upfront for you, please feel free to take is as a casual PSA to not ask your tall friend why she is wearing heels, not force her to go to the back for pictures, and not to dismiss any insecurities she might voice at holiday get-togethers. Or at all, ever. All women deserve to be able to wear any accessories without fearing comments, to be able to show off their fire fit in pictures, and to have their concerns be valid and not be forced to keep quiet, no matter their body type.