The lights of my life are my grandmothers; they reflect me as a person and have moulded me into who I am today, they shine bright and always make me happy especially in my times of need. They’re humans with colourful personalities and unique attributes in the spectrum of my world, and without them in my life I would not be able to see things the way I do – in an open-minded, interesting and positive manner! They’re the lights of my life because they bring happiness, positivity, fulfillment, joy, inspiration and hope through the advice they give me, and the stories they tell of their lives to reassure me!
My family is pretty unconventional but I wouldn’t have it any other way; my nana Helen raised my mum as a single parent during the 1970s, an age in which this was frowned upon. Her sister Ann (who I call grandma) played a huge part in helping her out and was a second parent to my mum. My Grandma Bridie did the opposite and had a very traditional marriage with lots of children. All of my grandmothers’ lives have taught me something which brings light to my life and I would like to share two of their profiles to explain what and why.
After leaving school, my nana Helen trained as a hairdresser and my grandma Ann got a job as a secretary in an office. They then moved to Jersey to work where they struggled to get accommodation and shared in a room of four. After a few years spent in Jersey they returned home to Manchester where they decided on their next move to the big city of London at the end of 1962. Living in Notting Hill Gate, my grandma worked at the British Museum for Encyclopaedia Britannica and my nana worked on Kings Road as a hairdresser. One day they decided to go on holiday to Barcelona without informing their bosses and didn’t return for four weeks. Surprisingly my grandma managed to keep her job, however my nana got fired. As they always say to me, ‘life’s too short, you may as well live it!’. In London they made friends with a lot of international people which inspired them to go and travel further afield. So they returned home to Manchester to save up before embarking on a journey to South Africa on a £10 passage.
After a few months in South Africa they wanted to move to a different part of the country, but didn’t give a month’s notice to their mean landlord and so escaped the house at night through a window and down a drain pipe! They then joined a circus as magicians’ assistants. This involved travelling by train and allowed them to see a lot of the country. My nana was clearly a very good assistant (not!) as she accidentally smashed a man’s watch by putting it in the wrong compartment resulting in it being smashed by a hammer when it was in fact supposed to magically come back in one piece. They eventually got tired of living on a train and settled in Johannesburg where they saved up to return home. A few years on they travelled around Italy, my mum arrived, my nana opened a hair salon, my grandma put off her engagement…
They’ve owned a café together, my nana married someone in her 40s but it didn’t work out and they continued to have many adventures. I asked them why they both never settled and they responded saying, ‘Mr nearly was never the right one’. Their independence and determination to achieve their life goals motivates me to pursue a life as fulfilling and adventurous as theirs has been.
Grandma Bridie, also now in her 70s, left school with five Irish honours in Maths, English, Irish, Geography and History. She is most certainly an intelligent woman. After leaving school at 17 she emigrated to England from Ireland where she worked in a hotel as a maid and met my Grandad Tom in an Irish club. She got married and had my aunty at the age of 20 which in her day was the norm, my uncle at 22 and my dad at 26. Back then 26 was the ‘ripe old age’ in her words, however now we would see this as the more common time to have a first child. More often than not ,she comes out with random stories which surprise us. For example, she told us a local Lord in the area gifted her some beautiful linens as a wedding present as he was a regular visitor to the hotel where she worked! At the age of 37 she had an almost fatal car crash driving into a lamppost which went into her skull and impacted her eyesight. She frequently reminds us that she is very grateful to be alive.
Shortly after she welcomed the birth of her first granddaughter at 40 followed by eight more in subsequent years. Sadly she became a widow at 59 then a proud great granny at 70! After raising her children she went to work in schools as a dinner lady and for the after school clubs; all the kids love her and she was always known for giving extras in her time as a dinner lady. I asked her why she won’t stop working as she continues to work in my uncle’s café, at the after school clubs and does some cleaning too. Her response is always that she would get bored if she didn’t have something to do – her work ethic and caring nature for others inspire me to be like her.
‘Within you is the light of 1000 suns’ (Robert Hayes). This is one of my favourite quotes as it reminds me that every individual has the potential to have a burning sense of desire and passion, or a bursting sense of happiness and pride. You just have to find it or wait for it to be ignited by what makes you tick or the lights of your life. My grandmothers, the lights of my life, have shared their life stories and experiences with me, assisting and supporting me in discovering my ‘light of 1000 suns’.
These women, including my mum and Beyonce as she can’t not get a mention, are the biggest female role models in my life. Not only have they brought light to my life but they continue to do so every day by caring for me, being there for me and letting me know that I can tell them anything. They’re not your average grandmothers that’s for sure and I aspire to be as strong, brave, independent, fun and hardworking as they have been throughout their lives.