Now more than ever, more people are diving into the genre of self-help to understand nuances and frameworks of habit formation, ways to better their lives, and to just simply show up in bigger ways. One of the reasons why these books are so popular is because these things weren’t taught to us in school and happen to be tools we need to not be prone to decision fatigue and have some form of clarity in life. Moreover, during the current situation, where remote working is becoming a thing, everyone wishes to have some form of established routine and balance to cope in better ways and to have a well-rounded lifestyle. Another reason why most people are so drawn into this is the idea of figuring things out because we feel so lost in some way or the other and long for something that brings about some form of stability and certainty. As useful as I find habit stacking from Atomic Habits and a whole lot of books that teach about savings and long-term financial security, there is a whole other world this genre turns a black eye to; the real world if you will.
While some of these books are very helpful, the genre as a collective sends out narratives that can be contrary to self-improvement. The culture feeds into the idea that self-improvement has a set path that might induce feelings of inadequacy in individuals who are not able to follow the set pathways. In a world where most of us are perfectionists, little errors can lead to hours of overthinking. Moreover, it builds itself in a way that showcases self improvement as the epitome of life and has people striving for an ideal version of balance and perfectionism that takes a complete toll on their mental health. Since they happen to be so widely consumed, it is almost impossible to believe that you’re on the right path even if you don’t have someone else’s version of the best of habits. Many times, it comes across as another way of seeking validation from our capitalist society and having it interfere even in your morning routine.
It tends to assume that everyone bears the same responsibility and is on a level playing field, ignoring layers of socially, economically, and psychologically infused oppression. This is to say that a person who feels unaccepted in society for their identity, couldn’t care less about a self-help book that would make them responsible for their happiness when clearly it is a fault in the system. While it is not targeting any specific book, it is about looking at the culture as a whole and question how tone-deaf it is to real-world problems with people having varying levels of problems and responsibilities that taking charge of one’s life in set ways cannot help.
The thing that personally affects me is ignoring the mental health aspect or addressing it in a way that will make you feel like you’re not doing a better job at taking care of your mental health. Everyone has a unique pattern and some level of trauma that they carry and while some people may receive help from some of these books, it is no way a guide to solving chronic recurring patterns that people struggle with.
What most people want is a sense of freedom and that comes from doing more of what resonates with you and that’s the culture I am aching to see. One where people don’t feel burdened and solve/deal with their complex issues, and mental health in ways that makes them feel better about themselves and uniquely fits into their needs, personality type. While some of these books are fun to read and may spark some inspiration, they are not the only way to go about things. Getting up at 5 am is not the only way to live. Some people like to work at night and if it fits their needs and is manageable, it is perfectly okay.
As a writer, there are many ways that are suggested to us to cultivate routines and schedules but ultimately what matters is what works for you and you don’t need a statement of appreciation by the capitalist society for taking turns that best suit you. I learned it the hard way but I am glad I did.
Continue to do what’s best for you and your mental health, take occasional detours, even take inspiration from these books if you want to but remember to take it in a way that’s more YOU and less right.