Clemson Guy Reveals: What our Date Spot Says About our Relationship

You ladies may often think that a simple date is just that: a simple date. You may think that us fellas have put little or no thought into where to go and that we are picking the restaurant solely on what food will help cure a day long hangover or hold us over for the rest of the night. However, there is actually some thought and, dare I say consideration, in deciding where our date is going to take place. That being said, here’s what our ideal spot really means about our ‘relationship’:
 

Brioso: 
I want to show you that I can be romantic and classy, but in somewhat of a relaxed setting. Paying before you sit down helps to avoid that awkwardness at the end of a meal that can often ruin the date, plus it shows that this isn’t just dinner but in fact a date. Finally, I may have picked this spot because I don’t know much about you or what you like to eat, and pasta is a safe choice because if you don’t like pasta you are definitely not the woman for me.
 
TD’s: I panicked when you asked where we were going so I picked the place closest to campus. Sh*t, now I’m embarrassed; I only come here if Marty McFly of Cody Webb is playing. At least we can hide in one of the giant cubbies?
 
Blue Heron: You tend to give off the ‘princess’ vibe, but for some reason, I’m willing to overlook it. You know it’s expensive, and I know you are analyzing the location of the date just as heavily as how well the date actually goes. At the end of the day, I’m still trying to impress you, so I hope that you at least act interested and eat more than three bites of your salmon. If you demand to be treated like a princess, I expected to be treated like a king.
 
Anywhere on 76/Bojangles: I woke up this morning with a raging hangover, rolled over and discovered you in my bed.  Needless to say it’s awkward (you’re my buddy’s ex, we are good friends, we barely know each other, etc..) and I don’t want to spend any more time with you for a while if possibly ever.  All I can muster is “Bo-Time?”
 

Esso Club: We are newly dating and I think you’re ready to hang with my friends in a no-pressure situation, seeing as a guys’ idea of getting lunch with friends is purely to satisfy our craving for grub, not to have social hour. I also know you’re a good catch and getting the Meat & Three on Fridays at the Esso is the perfect way to show you off in front of all of Clemson for two hours as a wait for my food. Seriously how long does country fried steak take? (Sidenote: it’s SO worth the wait.)
 

Mellow Mushroom: 
If I’m insisting on going to Mellow more and more frequently, you may be dating a hippie, which is fine if you’re comfortable with eating tofu and organic spinach pizza every week. Either that, or this is my way of telling you that you’re completely in the friend zone, unless you want to be that couple sitting on the same side of the booth, making out while pressed up against a cartoon mushroom.
 
356: I want to show you that I’m sophisticated and enjoy a nice piece of tuna nagiri once and a while. The alternative is that I actually hate sushi but am in the doghouse and this my only way to get you to stop being upset. In that case, I will probably settle and order one of their mini pizzas.
 
Wingin’ It: We are at a comfortable point in our relationship: I’ve farted once and blamed it on the dog, and seen you with no makeup on as you burped.  Seeing you devour a basket of wings like you’re in the annual hot dog eating contest isn’t really a big deal anymore.
 
Calhoun Corners: It’s our anniversary, Valentine’s Day, or your birthday. It’s Clemson guy code and obligatory for someone with any sort of respect to take you there and we know you couldn’t agree more. If we are celebrating these things together, I like you enough to take you there anyway.
 
(Please note this article does not reflect all personal views, but rather those of a selection of Clemson’s male student body.)