Clemson Guy Reveals: What our Date Spot Says About our Relationship

Esso Club: We are newly dating and I think you’re ready to hang with my friends in a no-pressure situation, seeing as a guys’ idea of getting lunch with friends is purely to satisfy our craving for grub, not to have social hour. I also know you’re a good catch and getting the Meat & Three on Fridays at the Esso is the perfect way to show you off in front of all of Clemson for two hours as a wait for my food. Seriously how long does country fried steak take? (Sidenote: it’s SO worth the wait.)

Mellow Mushroom: 
If I’m insisting on going to Mellow more and more frequently, you may be dating a hippie, which is fine if you’re comfortable with eating tofu and organic spinach pizza every week. Either that, or this is my way of telling you that you’re completely in the friend zone, unless you want to be that couple sitting on the same side of the booth, making out while pressed up against a cartoon mushroom.
356: I want to show you that I’m sophisticated and enjoy a nice piece of tuna nagiri once and a while. The alternative is that I actually hate sushi but am in the doghouse and this my only way to get you to stop being upset. In that case, I will probably settle and order one of their mini pizzas.
Wingin’ It: We are at a comfortable point in our relationship: I’ve farted once and blamed it on the dog, and seen you with no makeup on as you burped.  Seeing you devour a basket of wings like you’re in the annual hot dog eating contest isn’t really a big deal anymore.
Calhoun Corners: It’s our anniversary, Valentine’s Day, or your birthday. It’s Clemson guy code and obligatory for someone with any sort of respect to take you there and we know you couldn’t agree more. If we are celebrating these things together, I like you enough to take you there anyway.
(Please note this article does not reflect all personal views, but rather those of a selection of Clemson’s male student body.)