Everyone has that awkward sex experience. If you say you don’t, you’re probably lying. Mine was, well, different.
I have a severe peanut and nut allergy, to the point I cannot smell it without going into a serious anaphylactic reaction. I had just reacted the day before, so my immune system was at an extremely heightened state, where even walking too fast could send me into another reaction. I had so much homework to do, we both did, so we dropped my service dog off at our best friend’s dorm room so we could study. Of course this is the day I would get in the mood. So me and my boyfriend (we’re going to call him James), are discussing our sexual kinks, so I get up and take some Benadryl, along with taking some more Pepcid in order to prevent another reaction. I started our first fun experience by making out with him.
That was my first mistake, for those that were curious, I was taking away time from my studying to make out with someone I am super into. Next, he is helping me get undressed, I haven’t showered in a day or shaved in three weeks, but it doesn’t matter. My bra and clothes got tossed around the room, as do his. I start kissing down his neck before going full into it, I started giving him a blow job before we got to the fun busy part. I felt precum go into my mouth, so I stopped and got on top. We were both really enjoying this, as we were going down he stopped suddenly and said “I ate rocky road ice cream two weeks…” and we both went silent for a while. I was told when I hit puberty that if someone eats peanuts or nuts it stays in their system for 35 days.
Next mistake, my exact words were “I’m not dead yet, come on let’s finish!” and kept going. The next major mistake was when he asked if I wanted a condom, I said “f*ck that noise!” and kept going, all energy put into getting off and enjoying myself. Suddenly I stopped and stared at him, still on top, unable to move. “Are you breathing?!” he asked really quick. The answer was no, no I was not able to breathe. You could see the swelling all in my face, neck, and chest and we started scrambling for an epi-pen. He threw one at me, as I was unable to breathe or move off our dorm room floor. Hitting it as quickly as possible, I laid on the floor in an almost drunk-like stance.
I remember him yelling if I was okay, unable to talk, feeling as if my life was going to end, as I was just having sex not even two minutes ago. He somehow found his clothes, mine were no where to be found, so he dressed me in his clothes and got me up off of the floor. I have no idea where he got me a pair of underwear, but I am happy he found some. He rushed me to our car, that is when we realized it was one of the worst snow storms of the year, and we had to drive to the hospital, almost unable to see from the snow.
In our dorm, it takes an ambulance almost a half-hour to get to us on a perfectly clear day, if we are lucky. Driving was our only option, so we started our track to the hospital, in a snow storm that made our visibility pretty much zero the closer we got to the hospital. I started screaming in pain about half way to the hospital, apparently his semen was causing severe chemical burns to my vaginal area. We pull into the hospital, and I am unable to walk at all due to the burns and swelling between my legs, I am crying at this point from everything. Thank goodness the emergency room doctor had known us, as she also has the same allergy.
She looked at us as I complained of severe dizziness and burning sensations. The next question was inevitable and I was not sure what to say, “What were you doing at the time of the reaction?”
I had to say the right answer. “We were having sex,” I whispered.
At that exact moment our bed curtain was ripped open by some old lady who was staring at us like we were the devil.
“Any new condoms or lubricant? Were you using a condom? You have a lot of vaginal swelling,” the doctor said to me.
The old lady gawks at us even harder, “Those kids were having sex!” we hear her say to her husband, who is probably annoyed she’s more concerned about a couple of teens having sex over his heart attack.
“I don’t use condoms…” I said to her, causing her to nod, and the old lady to start making more comments to her husband.
We’re now an hour after our sexual encounter and I am still laying in a hospital bed, watching an old lady mutter prayers on her rosary, because I understand I am the devil. The doctor smiles at us as she walks back in, “How is the vaginal pain?” she asked me, “Still there, but it won’t go away probably.” I try to laugh it off. We already informed our closest friends what has occurred. “Let’s walk around and see if you pass out, if you don’t you can go home.” She smiles as I have to walk out of the curtain, seeing that old lady continue to stare at us. Realize, we now have heard he is being admitted due to a heart attack, but she is still concerned with James and I and our premarital sex.
Needless to say, we got sent home within the next hour, I wished the old lady a good night, hoping that she doesn’t go gossip about me to everyone she knows. During the drive home, I realize that I am gushing this thick almost bloody liquid from my vagina. The discharge from having peanut residue in my very allergic body. As I talked to my best friend, he will never let me live it down, started screaming during quiet hours and claimed “I will never watch the dog again! God you two having sex, it’s so gross!”
It took three weeks for my vagina to look somewhat normal again, and the amount of discharge was unbelievable. My OBGYN promised me I would be fine to have sex again, but if anyone is curious, we haven’t tried again yet. Though, for almost a month we had our own sex count down on the calendar, because let’s face it, being told you can’t have sex makes you want it so much more.
We’re still strong even though the first time we had sex he practically killed me. I wonder if that old lady ever forgave us for having sex, even though it was none of her business.
The best part out of all of this is? If we ever get married, we have the best first sex story ever.