When I imagined college, I never really thought of the drama side of it. I imagined friends and roommates that got into small tiffs and just got over them quickly, and that is what I have encountered, until recently. The reality is that there will come a time when either your friends or your roommates get into a heated argument that seems like it’s the start of WW3, but trust me, it’s not. Just in case you are confused though, here are some do’s and don’ts of how to get through your fight!
Don’ts
1.) Communicate only with a select few
When talking through a fight it can be very hard to face the person you are in the fight with, and very easy to only talk to those who are on your “side”. Trust me, that is not the solution when you are trying to solve a fight and figure out why everyone is mad at each. Communicating with only a select few will only lead to more confusion, mixed messages, and can even lead to more hurt feelings. No solution can be proposed if everyone is not clear and upfront with each other about why there is a fight in the first place.
2.) Lie
Lying is very easy, and it’s also very convenient to use when you are trying to come out on the “right” side of the fight. In fighting it is very easy to get caught up and lost in your lies, to the point where it is easy to confuse the lies and the truth from each other. Lying will just cause more problems, and will not get you any step closer to solving any issues.
3.) Let this fight end your friendship
I unfortunately have been in the position of friendships that have ended over a fight. When I think back about what led to the end of these friendships, the reasons in hindsight are very petty. Drama comes and goes, but the bond that you have with your friends is unique. One of the worst feelings in the world is wanting to talk to a old friend but feeling like you cannot because you ended on bad terms.
Do’s
1.) Communicate with everyone
Communication is perhaps the number one most important thing that needs to happen when it comes to a fight. It can be hard and even be the last thing you want to do, but it has to be done, and you have to talk together and communicate if there is any hope to solve your issues. And yes, texting is a very easy way to communicate, but when it comes to texting it’s not the best way to solve a multi-sided issue as dynamic as a fight. I suggest face to face communication as the best way to talk out your issues.
2.) Look at things in the bigger perspective
It is really easy to think in terms of only what is happening in your current situation, but keep in mind that although a fight may be what is happening in the present, in the future you will look back and laugh at the moments where you fought with each other and realize that they were really dumb in hindsight.
3.) Remember why you are friends in the first place
What made you love your friends in the beginning, and why are you fighting now? It is easy to forget the things that united you and your friends in the first place when you are fighting. In my experience it becomes very easy to focus on the negatives during and immediately after your argument, and then later on realize afterwards that the positives outweigh any drama that comes your way. Just because you are in a fight does not mean your friendship is in ruins. Fighting is inevitable and happens to the best of us. Stick things out and you and your friends will come out stronger and closer than ever before.