The Beauty of Being Single

My best friend and I chat weekly, as many friends do. We were recently having a normal conversation when she took me by surprise by asking, “how do I stop caring about not having a boyfriend?” I was shocked!

Where do I even start with that question, yet alone answer it? I took a minute to gather my thoughts and once I gave her my response she said that was exactly what she needed to hear. After sharing with her, it dawned on me that my best friend was not the only one that was struggling with this concept. This challenge that we, as college women, deal with on a daily basis when we are not spending our nights snuggled up next to our boyfriends or struggling with the very idea of being single. There is no amount of GNO’s or glasses of wine that can hide the deep, dark hurt in our hearts when we feel inadequate or not good enough for love. 

BUT…

There is beauty in singleness. When you put beauty and single together in one sentence, it is easy to skim past. The two words, in our society, are not related in any way, shape, or form. When we think of beauty, we tend to think about things that are perfect in your eyes, utterly almost flawless…Kylie Jenner, the thin, milky design on top of our lattes, or even a newborn baby. This list is beautiful to the eye, but will quickly fade. The beauty I am talking about is the beauty that can be found within ourselves. The beauty that is begging to be brought to the surface, but we are too busy pushing it down. Kate Angell once said, “Outer beauty attracts, but inner beauty cultivates.”

If no one has told you today, you, my dear friend, are captivating. 

Getting caught up in our outfits, hair and makeup can be easy, but at the end of the day those things are merely a representation of who we are on the inside.When singleness comes to mind, our society bogs down on us for not having a VSCO relationship or a flower vase in our room that is always full. But that is the opposite. Without singleness and you recognizing your own beauty, the perfect relationship you are looking for cannot exist. Hear me again…the relationship your craving cannot be fulfilled until you recognize the beauty within yourself. 

Do I sound like a Hallmark card? Maybe a little. 

The time you have as a single woman is not a time for depression, but preparation. This is the time for you to shape yourself into the woman your dream man is looking for, not only by recognizing your inner beauty, but exuding it day in and day out. This is the time where you think (and seriously think) about what kind of guy you are looking for, and not just because he is hot and in a frat (guilty). 

Do not be afraid to ask yourself the tough questions. What qualities do you want in a relationship? Do you want faith to be a foundation in your relationship? What kind of boundaries are YOU comfortable with, not just him? These questions are not rhetorical and though they may seem hard to answer, you have time to answer them in our preparation season. 

This season of being single is about figuring out how to become “Ms. Right” for your dream “Mr. Right”. When the right guy comes around and recognizes the strength and confidence you have in yourself and who you truly are, he will snatch you up in a heartbeat. There is nothing sexier than confidence and owning who you are, not just flaunting a mini skirt and a red lip. This is not a time of being lonely or wishing you were with someone - this is a time for the celebration of YOU.