Now fast forward two weeks.
I started taking my medication and it was time for a check-up with my gynecologist to see how I am doing with my birth control. I explained to her that I no longer got my period anymore, but still experienced symptoms of it, my acne was getting worse, and over all I just wasn’t my true self. Her response? “That is normal! Your body is just getting used to these contraceptives” she then started to explain it to me further but in medical terms, which at the time, I didn’t know what she meant and just kept nodding my head. I left, yet again, confused on why I was feeling so shitty but hopeful and assuming that this was normal.
Months passed, nothing changed. School finished and I had done terribly. I failed two of my classes and was mortified. The only think keeping me positive was that I had two months of summer vacation to get myself back together.
I didn’t…
I woke up to a hot sunny day and just wanted to stay in bed with the blinds closed. I didn’t want to hang out with my friends or loved ones. I would be so moody, I would pick random fights with my boyfriend for no reason and after they had finished I would think to myself, “why did I just do that?”. I continued with my life like this and then before I knew it, it was time for my sophomore year of college, yay.
School was starting, I made goals with myself, and maintained a steady schedule so I could keep myself together. It didn’t work. Two weeks into school I started getting anxiety attacks, which were something that has never happened to me before. The only thing I could think was “great just another thing to add to make me more fucked up”. I would be sitting in the library and would just start crying and would race to my apartment where I would reach for a paper bag to help me breath. I had no control of my body, I couldn’t even recognize myself anymore. These anxiety attacks continued and it would come to the point where every day I would have difficulty breathing. Something needed to be done. I just couldn’t go on with my life like this.
I picked up the phone and called my doctor. Today, October 23, 2018, I had a visit with my primary doctor and told her every symptom I had, what I wanted to be checked for, and demanded blood work. The conclusion she came to? My birth control was making my bat shit crazy. The levels of progesterone in my contraceptives was messing with my body so badly. I am getting acne that she explained was normal for grown man, not a young woman, I am feeling anxious and depressed every day, and I have a hormonal imbalance all because of the tiny pill I have taken every night for the past year at 8 p.m. I left this visit outraged. I had expressed these issues to gynecologist months prior in which she said it was normal, but it wasn’t. I got home after this visit did my research and now am writing this for YOU. Advocate for yourself and your body. You are the only person who has control of your body and do not let anyone tell you otherwise. Do not let any professional tell you, you are fine if you know you aren’t. They are here to help, but do your part to get to a conclusion. At the end of the day all anyone wants is to wake up happy and healthy.