It’s 2021, and I am a freshman at Boston University. I have felt more myself in the two weeks I have been on campus than in the four years I spent drudging onward through the mundane halls of high school. The sunrise greets me every morning and warms my heart with the fact that I am alive and well; I am able to attend BU under COVID-19 protocols and not spend another year stagnantly awaiting my future. Not just the sun and the views shine, but the people also enlighten me in ways I never thought possible.
In approximately one month at BU I have met some of the most astounding individuals and learned irreplaceable information about myself and others. At BU, my step is lighter, my smile is more genuine, and my laughter is unencumbered. However, underneath the happiness persists a fear that no one will actually accept me in college, and that my personal identity will not be good enough for the peers who now surround me.
I consider myself a decently kind and sociable person. I like to joke around, I love to go on coffee outings, and in all reality, I have a sometimes unwanted opinion on almost any topic. While I am comfortable with these personality traits, it is unquestionably terrifying to put these attributes out in the open for a myriad of new people to judge. Constantly, the same questions spiral through my mind: “What if I’m too loud, too hyper, or too passionate for new people to handle? What if the little girl from the middle of nowhere thought too highly of herself to come to Boston with the hopes of changing the world?”
In an attempt to combat this self-doubt, maintaining my personal identity has been in the forefront of my mind while navigating freshman year. At BU, I do want to be unapologetically loud, passionate, and hyper, as those things are me. However, I have simultaneously come to terms with the fact that I will not overdo these characteristics to fit in or damper them for the same cause. I will be me, and continue to take care of myself and my personal identity so that at the end of my four years in Boston, I am unapologetically myself.
My personal identity has indeed been out in the open for a myriad of peers to judge, and that scares me like nothing else. But my personal identity is sound, and it continues to evolve with every day I spend in Boston. To that end, I have decided (among other important decisions regarding BU and myself) that at BU, I will be me and maintain my personal identity as I continue forward.
So take it from me: just be you!
Want to keep up with HCBU? Make sure to like us on Facebook, follow us on Instagram, check out our Pinterest board, and read our latest Tweets!