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The Pros and Cons of being Single, Dating and In a Relationship at the Beginning of School

Sure, it may seem like girls in relationships have it all (after all, that’s why Pinterest wedding boards are so popular, right?!)  But in reality there are both pros and cons to being single, being in a relationship, and everything in between.   Below, you’ll find some of the pluses and minuses, so when you’re in a self-pitying mood you might find that, whatever your situation is, it’s not so bad!

The Pros of Being Single
1. You get to focus on yourself, school, and whatever goals you may set.   The beginning of the school year is a fun time to be able to figure out exactly what you want, which makes being single great.  You don’t have to worry about not spending enough time with a significant other when you decide to take on a research project and four new clubs.

2. You know that saying there’s plenty of fish in the sea?  Well, when you’re single that’s truly the case!  When you go out you can flirt and dance with however many guys you want without ever having to make a single commitment to any of them.

3. You can hang out with your girls as often as you want without feeling badly about leaving your partner behind.   Girls nights are a blast and without having to worry about leaving a guy out, you can go out and enjoy without any of the guilt.  (Plus, you can dance to your hearts content when “Single Ladies” comes on).

The Cons of Being Single
1. It’s no secret that random hookups are hugely prevalent at BC, and while these can be fun every once in a while, they do have the potential for leaving you feeling guilty and/or bad about yourself.   Being single should be fun and should make you realize how wonderful and amazing you truly are, so if you’re feeling anything less than great, you may want to reconsider your actions and take some time off from the hookup culture.

2. One can either be the best or the loneliest number depending on your point of view and friend group.   If all of your girls are suddenly getting into long-term committed relationships and asking you to hang out with them and their new guys, you might begin to feel left out.   Being single should never feel lonely; in fact it should make you feel ecstatic that you have so many options available to you.

While being single is a great time for self-exploration and for spending quality time with yourself as well as your friends, eventually you might meet a guy (or several) who are all worthy of at least a first date.   Here are some of the pros and cons of dating.

The Pros of Dating 
1. You’re not totally tied down and committed to spending all your time with them so you’re still able to focus on yourself, while still having the ability to go out to dinner or spend time with one person you care about.

2. You’re able to keep your options open while having the comfort of knowing that you have someone who likes you and would be more than happy to meet up with you after you’re done doing whatever it is you’re doing.

3. When you’re dating, you get to meet a ton of different people while pursuing something more meaningful than a random hookup.  When you date, you actually get a chance to know more than what year they are in school.  You get the chance to meet someone new and, even if it doesn’t work out, at the very least he/she could end up being a great friend.

The Cons of Dating
1. Unless you lay out all the rules/expectations after you’ve been on a few dates things could get messy.  (Note: this shouldn’t happen on or even after the first date).

 2. If you begin to want more than just a casual, dating relationship, but your partner wants less or just wants to keep things the way they are, stress will definitely be added to the relationship, which could lead to the relationship dissolving.

3. As mentioned earlier, unless you take the time to lay out all of your expectation with your partner, what started as dating could quickly turn into a booty call.  To avoid this, make sure to take things out of the bedroom and back into the real world.

While dating may seem like the ultimate way to be you may find yourself falling for the guy your dating and wanting to turn it into a relationship.  Or maybe you’re already in a long term, committed relationship. Here are some of the pros and cons of being in a relationship.

The Pros of Being in a Relationship
1. When you go out you always know who you’re going home with.   This makes a lot of girls feel more confident when they go out since they know that even if they aren’t into the whole hook up culture that at the end of the night, even if their friends find guys, they won’t be going home alone.

2. If you don’t feel like eating in Mac or Lower you always have an excuse to try different restaurants around campus and in Boston by simply asking to have a date night.

3. You have the comfort of knowing that there’s one extra person you have on your team rooting for you and only wanting what’s best for you.  This security is great to have, especially as the semester drags on and becomes even more stressful.

The Cons of Being in a Relationship
1. The beginning of school is a great time to start fresh and really focus in on what it is YOU want to accomplish this year.   It’s also the best time of year to meet new people and try things you’ve never done before.   That’s why if you’re one of the many BC girls in a relationship, it’s important to keep an open mind and not forget that your happiness and satisfaction should come before anyone else, otherwise you may start to resent your partner if you begin doing things only for him.

2. This goes without saying in any relationship during any time of year, but make sure you are doing things that benefit the two of you.  The start of a new year can be stressful, which inevitably puts stress on your relationship, so make sure to always keep things in perspective and have balance and compromise, otherwise the two of you may start to resent one another.

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Lauren Ruvo is a sophomore at Boston College who is double majoring is Human Development and Communications. Lauren is originally from Las Vegas and doesn't think she will ever get used to the winters in Boston. Lauren writes for The Heights as well as the Boston College branch of Her Campus. In her free time, Lauren loves shopping, traveling, spending time with friends and family, spin class, and cooking. She is very excited about joining the Her Campus team!
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