So you’ve been seeing someone for some time. It could be a few weeks or a few months, whatever, but this person is bae. You know it, I know it, and your best friend knows it. Everything feels lovely – they’re cute, thinking about them makes you smile, and you have good chemistry with them.
But how can you tell if bae is someone you should keep around just for a good time, or for a long time? How do you know bae is a keeper?
- They listen to you… and I mean, really listen to you.
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We all know there’s a distinct difference between when someone hears us, and when someone is actually listening to what we have to say. You could give a speech to a thousand people right now, and although all of them hear you, it’s possible only a handful of them are genuinely listening. Let’s say you’re parked in the car with bae, talking about your feelings or an embarrassing childhood memory that came up. What’s that? They don’t have their phone in their hands? They’re making eye contact? They’re engaged with what you’re saying? Maybe even… *gasp*… asking you questions to know more? DING, DING, DING – we have a keeper!
- They have their own interests and ambitions.
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Yes, they make you a priority. But you’re not their only priority – and that’s a great thing! Your babe should be working out, going to parties, taking up photography, or doing whatever it is their heart desires. Just like you! Everyone needs time to be an individual and do what they love. If they don’t have anything else going on besides being with you and texting you, then you may want to ask yourself whether or not they are for keeps.
- They’re mature enough to talk problems out with you (big and small), rather than acting out, pretending it never happened, or breaking the relationship off.
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It seems like whenever someone these days has a problem with the person they’re cuddling with they often turn to act out, pretend it never happened or break up. A “problem” could mean different things to different people but for the sake of this article let’s exclude ultimate deal-breakers and abuse. Let’s take jealousy – something all humans experience whether they’re in a relationship or not. If you and your boo are able to talk about your feelings openly and honestly rather than bottling them up, doing something you’ll regret, or breaking up, then you have a pretty solid foundation. Keep that one around.
- They see you as their equal.
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You may not be able to see eye-to-eye all the time… if your bae is over 6’0’’ like their Tinder profile says. But nonetheless, they should see you as their equal. You want someone who doesn’t see you as less than them, but you also want someone who is just as ambitious as you are. If your sweetheart often asks you for your opinion on things, wants to work alongside you, and values your perspective, that’s a pretty clear sign they see you as their equal. As they should!
- They don’t mind your flaws… and might actually like you better for them.
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We alllll have flaws, and we tend to be hypercritical about them. When you find someone who doesn’t mind those flaws and even finds some of them to be “cute,” “hot,” “sexy” or anything positive that we often don’t see our flaws to be, it’s a blessing. You’re telling me he finds your belly hair attractive? *faints* She loves that weird mark on your back? *faints harder*. They don’t mind that you sound like Shrek when you’re laughing really hard? Perfect. We can all agree that when someone genuinely likes us for all that we are, flaws and all, they’re a keeper.
- They’re confident in themselves, and in the relationship.
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This one seems like a no-brainer. Everyone wants to get boo’d up with someone who’s confident in themselves! It’s super attractive and means that the person knows their worth. And honey, shouldn’t we all? Confident people also tend to boost others up, so having a confident bae might just rub off on you. Not only that, but this confidence will likely extend into the relationship itself. We all know the best types of relationships are the ones where there are complete trust and faith that each person will value and remain loyal to the other. So if that type of trust feels natural already between you and bae now, I’m telling you, they’re for keeps.
- You talk about the future together.
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It seems like if this is the case, you already know bae is a keeper because no one plans the future with someone they’re not trying to keep around. Whether it be talking about where you’ll be together in next year or five years, that’s a pretty good indication that your sweetheart is someone you want to (and likely will) stick around for a long time. HELLO… if you’re talking about the future together, bae is pretty sure you’re for keeps too. And what a wonderful feeling that is.
There are so many other signs of course, but with just these seven I’m sure you’ll have a good idea of whether or not your current bae is future bae.