While everyone wants to experience a little bit of summer lovin’, not all of our beach-born relationships are suited to last through September, reaching a climax à la Grease that involves a fun house, a skin-tight spandex unitard with bright red stilettos, and a flying convertible. Nope—not even Danny and Sandy’s adorable “we-made-it-work-and-now-we’ll-always-be-together” story can convince us that every summer fling is meant to turn into the real thing. Instead, we’re a little bit more into the sentiment that perhaps a fling should remain just that—short, exciting and ending on an “up” as opposed to a long, dramatic, emotional breakdown. Disagree? Hear us out on a few reasons why your summer fling might be better off staying just that.
He’s not someone you want to bring home to mom and dad.
You know they won’t approve, so why start something more serious with a guy who will never get your parents’ “OK”? Whatever the reason for their skepticism – his intelligence, his inability to dress himself in clothes that match or his lack of conversation skills – if he’s not exactly your parents’ cup of tea, you might question whether he’s really worth more than a casual summer fling.
You know he won’t mesh well with your friends back at school.
While over the summer you might have a lot of one-on-one time, that probably won’t be the case come September. Of course, as school begins, there’s a lot more to juggle. Work, extracurriculars, clubs, any other school-related activities, plus making time for friends and a boyfriend can get to be a little much. What’s more, if your girlfriends who have met him over the summer don’t love to hang out with him, there might be trouble coming your way. If your friends can’t be around him, you’ll find yourself having to choose between them too often.
He’s not “boyfriend” material, as far as your standards are concerned.
“If he was [insert impossible-to-achieve trait here] then he’d be perfect.” Yep, we all know that feeling. Unfortunately, though, simply wishing that he would just gain that one characteristic you think is missing won’t make him the (near-)perfect boyfriend. If he has habits and qualities that tend to make you cringe, it’s definitely time to let go and move on to something that’s more fulfilling. Even so, if he’s just not everything you’re looking for in a guy, the end of summer is the time to get over it and get on with it, so you can find a guy who is.
He’s really hot… but that’s about it.
If going on a dinner date with him that doesn’t involve a quick slice of pizza or a casual stop at the ice cream shop is unimaginable to you, then he’s not the right guy. He might be cute enough to look at for an extended period of time, but when he opens his mouth – or when he doesn’t at all – you can’t help but wish that more than just bro-mumbles would tumble from his lips. If he’s got nothing to offer besides killer looks that make him the perfect partner in crime far as Facebook photos are concerned, let him go after you’ve had your summer fun.
You’re spending the fall semester in Europe and he’s… not.
A semester abroad can be pretty much a free-for-all, and as college students from all around the country infiltrate Europe, there’s no doubt that you’ll have plenty of guys to meet. Don’t remain preoccupied with your American summer guy while you’re surrounded by a different group of college kids, incredible (romantic) cities and – GASP – men with accents!
He’s going back to California at the end of the summer while you’re staying on the East Coast.
Distance might make the heart grow fonder, but it also might just be a pain in the butt – only leading to loneliness and perhaps some fighting. Though some couples can make it work, being separated by multiple states can take a toll on any relationship. Transitioning from summer fling to long-distance-thing is a huge step in terms of commitment, so you’ll have to make sure that your casual “fling” has gained enough real strength to survive across such a distance.
You’ve graduated and are starting a job, but he failed to complete all of his requirements.
By the time you’ve settled into your new working life, he’ll have just completed the extra requirements he needed to make up after graduation. He’ll be in a totally different place than you are – you’ll have learned the ropes of the real world and gotten your life underway, while he’ll be just starting to figure it out. Don’t wait around for this guy after the summer ends. Let him figure out the pending status of his graduation while you get on with your post-grad life.
You want some “me” time.
Being tied to a guy – no matter what the nature of the relationship – can get exhausting, and even suffocating. After the summer, you might not even feel it necessary to keep things up with the guy purely because you want to take some time to be on your own. Allow yourself to get back into the swing of things at school without a boy by your side.
You plan on going back to school and running straight into the arms of another guy.
If you’ve survived the summer by looking forward to the fall – when you’ll finally be reunited with the guy from last semester with whom you never had “closure” (whatever that means) – there’s no reason for your summer fling to carry over into the next season. Clearly, he’s less significant than the Prince Charming who awaits you back at school, so leave beach boy behind and hope that your Prince hasn’t taken the summer as an opportunity to charm anyone else.
So as you enjoy the heat, the waves and the adorable boy you’ve got by your side for the summer, be sure to consider how seriously you’re actually taking this relationship. If you start to get the sense that the fling is just a fling, allow it to end instead of dragging it on for no good reason. Let it go and look forward to meeting new boys either abroad (accents! romance! mopeds!) or back at school (are younger boys really off-limits?).