Dating is hard enough, but sometimes it can be difficult to date someone with a different sexual orientation, especially someone who’s bisexual. After all, you likely haven’t experienced the same lifestyle as your SO. Whether you just started dating a bisexual girl or you aren’t sure which questions are appropriate to ask her, there are a few things you need to know.
1. She isn’t “experimenting”
Maybe you’re the one who’s experimenting. It’s tough coming out to anyone, whether you’re bisexual, gay, lesbian or pansexual. Stop trying to delegitimize her sexual orientation.
2. Don’t ask her, “If you had to choose one, which would you pick?”
Ugh. Every bisexual person gets asked this at least once in their life. It’s like making someone choose between tacos and pizza. You couldn’t possibly choose because you like both.
3. She isn’t constantly horny
Just because she’s attracted to both men and women doesn’t mean she’s a light switch.
4. You can’t turn her straight or gay
Just because she’s dating you doesn’t mean she’s suddenly “switched” her sexual orientation. Seriously, stop trying to make her something she’s not.
5. And no, she isn’t doing it for “attention”
This might be a new concept to most people, but women don’t do things just to get attention from men and other women.
6. She isn’t afraid of commitment
Well, she might be—not every bisexual gal is the same. Regardless, being a bisexual girl doesn’t suddenly make you fear or hate committed relationships.
7. She isn’t somehow more likely to cheat on you
Being bisexual doesn’t suddenly give her the urge to cheat. Liking both men and women doesn’t make her attracted to every single person that strolls past.
8. Stop interrogating her about every minute detail of her past relationships
Seriously, there isn’t anything special about her past relationships, so don’t push the topic. Unless you’re at a point in your relationship where she’s comfortable talking to you about her love life and past sexcapades.
9. She isn’t in denial
No, she isn’t secretly a lesbian who’s using you to get to your sister.
10. She probably doesn’t want to have a threesome
Do you ask all your SOs if they want to have a threesome? No? Then stop this.
11. Her sexual orientation doesn’t make her “hot”
Just stop fetishizing sexual orientations in general. OK? Thanks.
12. Don’t compare her to famous bisexual women
While you might think it’s flattering to say she’s just like Megan Fox or Angelina Jolie, these references get old real quick.
13. Don’t ask her when she decided to be bisexual
You don’t just choose to be bisexual, or any other sexual orientation for that matter. She might not have always known that she was bisexual. Hopefully that’s what you were trying to ask.
14. No, she won’t help you talk to women and/or men
I mean, one of the unspoken rules of being in a monogamous relationship is to not flirt with other people, right?
15. She can talk to other people without catching feelings
Calm down, she was just ordering a macchiato. The barista isn’t a threat to your relationship.
16. Don’t tell her, “You don’t seem bisexual”
What does a bisexual girl act like anyway?
17. Seriously, it isn’t a phase
Bisexual men and women aren’t mythical creatures. We exist, and we aren’t suddenly going to grow out of our bisexuality.