What It's Like to Be the Girl That's Always 'Fine'

She is a chronic overthinker. She is meticulously observant, unquenchably curious, and perpetually trapped in her own thoughts. She overanalyzes, underestimates and always arrives 20 minutes early. She prefers dreary days to sunny ones, slow songs to fast ones, romantic movies to funny ones, and she is "fine!" She is always fine.

She is precise. She is logical, she is reasonable. She tucks her emotions safely away, conveniently detached, nonchalantly unavailable. She is out of reach, out of their league, off the market. She is fiercely independent, she didn’t need him anyway, she’s better on her own. She is in love with him. She would like not to care, but she does, and since she can’t help it, she decides to be fine. Pull yourself together. He doesn’t feel the same way. Chin up. Wipe away the tears. Forget the wounded ego. You’re tougher than that. Smile.

She deals with the drama and moves on. She doesn’t let fear stop her or heartbreak paralyze her. No, she is in control. She doesn’t stumble. She doesn’t fall. She doesn’t break down. She is always fine.

She is never aimless, never directionless, always charging forward. She kicks herself, full speed ahead: You have a plan, and they have expectations. She doesn’t buckle, she doesn't hesitate. She buys a day planner. Figure it out. You're fine. Just 1,000 more words. Just get it done. Getting your degree isn't that hard.

She always listens, always notices when something’s off. She is a pillar of strength. What problems could she possibly have? She has it all figured out. She can do it all. She can be there for everyone. She just has to tell them they’ll be fine. Like her. She’s always fine. She has her shit together. Everything is totally, totally under control. She is invincible.

She has a routine (wake up, shower, school, work, dinner, sleep, repeat). It’s fine. Everything is fine. She’s fine. She has a good job, good life. Why wouldn’t she be fine? She’s a rising star, newly promoted, up and coming. She’s almost famous, an inspiration, immensely talented. You must be so proud. Congratulations. 

She feels lost. Alone. It’s okay though. It’s just a rough patch. You're just tired. It’ll get better. She’s always fine. Always fine. Fine. Always.