To my Facebook friend who proudly declared that she was not a feminist,
When I saw your Facebook post celebrating the fact that you are “proudly not a feminist” I was irritated. I was mad that you’re so willing to dismiss feminism. I couldn’t understand why you would so eagerly broadcast your rejection of a movement that has given you so much. Do you think your anti-feminist post makes you more appealing to the men on your Facebook feed? Do you think that not being a feminist means you don’t mind cooking and you’d happily make a guy a sandwich? Whether or not you eagerly don the title “feminist”, you reap the benefits of feminism on a daily basis. You may not be fighting in the fight for equality, but you are lucky that others are.
Remember that political opinion you shared on Facebook last week? You know, the one where you told everyone who you would be voting for? You should be thanking feminism for your voice. Women did not have the right to vote until 1920 when the 19th Amendment of the U.S. Constitution allowed it. The right to vote didn’t come overnight, and it wasn’t some simple oversight. Women actively fought for their right for nearly 70 years. When the issue of women’s suffrage first reached the U.S. Congress, committees were formed and the issue was debated on (by men, of course) and the amendment was eventually rejected. Keep in mind, dear Facebook friend, this was in the time after slavery had been abolished. This was a time after all men had been granted protection of their constitutional right to vote. Even after the U.S. Congress passed the amendment, it still took approximately 60 years for 12 states to ratify the amendment. Let me put that in perspective for you—Mississippi, the last state to ratify the amendment, did not do so until 1984, just 10 years before you were born.
Remember when you first began exploring your sexuality? Remember how you didn’t wait until your wedding night and when you started having sex, you certainly didn’t want a baby? In 1916, Margaret Sanger spent 30 days in jail after opening the first birth control clinic in the U.S. This was only the beginning of a string of arrests and prosecutions as she fought to keep the clinic open. Maybe 1916 seems too long ago to seem relevant to you, so how about the fact that as recently as 1965 unmarried women in 26 states were still denied access to birth control, while it was considered a part of a married couple’s right to privacy. Yes, that’s right, once a man was involved in the decision it was okay, but women could not make the decision for themselves.
I could go on and on citing notable women in history, and preaching about their fight for our rights, for your rights, but I shouldn’t have to. In fact, these examples only barely scratch the surface of the work of feminists and their positive contributions to society.
Feminism doesn’t mean you hate men. Feminism doesn’t mean you think women are better than men. Feminism doesn’t mean that you can’t like the color pink. Feminism doesn’t mean that you won’t want to be someone’s wife someday. Feminism is about giving you freedom and opportunity, not restricting you. Feminism is about giving you the opportunity to have freedom through education. Feminism is about giving you career options and dreams you can aspire towards, rather than leaving you with a predetermined list of “approved for women” careers. Feminism is about allowing you to embrace your sexuality and make decisions about your body. Feminism is about acknowledging that you are a person, a person with rights. Feminism is about equality. Feminism is about more than just you.
Sure, you can decide whether or not you want to identify yourself as a feminist. Posts like the one you made and articles like the one you shared are damaging to more than just you. It’s one thing to sit back and benefit from the work of others, but it’s another to actively try to undermine the efforts of the rest of us. You’re holding us back, and we really don’t need that.
Sincerely,
Your Proudly Feminist Facebook Friend