The 15 Traumatizing Stages of Your Juice Cleanse, As Told By the Foods You'd Rather Be Eating

Anybody who’s ever done a juice cleanse knows how painful it is, so bless those of you who can make it to day five. When deprived of calorie-rich goodness, your thoughts quickly turn nefarious, plaguing you with images of cheeseburgers and pizza. These juice cleanse stages are too real, and the food calling your name is even realer.

1. You realize what you’ve committed to and want to put mac 'n' cheese inside you right then

2. The smell of pizza and garlic wafts in your direction, and you get weak in the knees

3. You drink an avocado instead of eating it whole

4. Your juice dinner looks like bile, and you dream of a burrito instead

5. Dessert cravings roll around, and you writhe on the floor in agony waiting for relief

6. You’re a vegetarian, but meat suddenly sounds good

7. You’ve peed 14 times today and need bread to soak up the liquid in your stomach

8. You watch your friend eat a sandwich at lunch, and tears fill your eyes

9. You taste spaghetti at the back of your throat

10. You make it to day two but know that you’ll have to gorge on cheese after this as penance

11. You bargain with yourself, promising to have a small bite of an almond, just something healthy to tide you over

12. Your body screams into the void for ice cream

13. Your stomach is audibly growling while you’re in class, so you chew gum to feel okay again

14. You crawl to Starbucks, just to take a whiff of the coffee beans and wish for a brighter day

15. You realize certain death is imminent unless you eat something, anything immediately