Within your life you have grown to realize there are two types of people: fully blooded Italians (like yourself) and wannabes. But, being born into this outrageously chaotic group of people is truly a blessing in disguise. From pronouncing mozzarella as “muszarell” and pronouncing sandwich as “sangwich” to devouring them during Sunday dinner, here are 23 things only Italian girls understand. CAPISCE?
1. You fear your husband’s last name won’t blend with your Italian name, or even worse—you fear he isn’t even going to be Italian.
2. When you’re a mom, you’ll use a wooden spoon for two things: spankings and sauce.
3. You blame losing your voice on nonna refusing to just sit down and eat at the dinner table.
4. Chicken cutlets can only be eaten when they are thin.
5. The ultimate insult is being called a butana.
6. Your middle name is some variation of Marie or Ann.
7. You love taking credit for your fellow Italians birthing Nutella.
8. Your first glass of wine was at age 10 after your great aunt’s funeral.
9. You text your girls: “Sorry I can’t, Sunday dinner with the family.”
10. Your first crush was Frank Sinatra or Dean Martin.
11. Your competitive side only comes out during family Bocce ball games.
12. Making meatballs, pesto and covering the fig tree in winter are just a few things you consider as cardio.
13. You’re scared of dating because your dad never fails to interrogate your latest love interest.
14. College served as a reality check because the rest of the world doesn’t eat as gourmet of pizza as you…
15. Growing up, you pictured traveling to Italy like…
16. The Atlantic Ocean is actually on your Christmas Eve table.
17. This is your jewelry.
18. Wearing dresses and skirts is a struggle because you have to hide the $50 your uncle shoves into your hand.
19. Pronouncing your last name is a tongue twist for the rest of society.
20. Nonna is your idol.
21. And you’re convinced Nonna is actually Mrs. Clause.
22. Being compared to the Jersey Shore girls is downright offensive.
23. You already know your wedding cake will have cannoli cream inside.
