Alright, ladies, we know you’re super excited for your first big night out, and rightfully so, but let’s step away from the beer pong table and get real for a moment, shall we? Sure, girls may just want to have fun, and we all make mistakes, but with a little bit of guidance, you don’t have to.
1. Chugging with that frat boy may seem like the best idea you’ve had in ages, but you might just end up like this tomorrow:
Or like this:
2. If you’re wearing a dress, please try to keep it classy.
And by classy, we mean don’t flash anyone. Which brings us to our next point…
3. Please, please, please put on some underwear.
And yet, some people just cannot grasp this concept.
4. Don’t do anything your mom wouldn’t want to see on the Internet.
You can have a good time without managing to have your make-out session caught on camera, right?
5. We know it’s your song; you can stop screaming now.
Because God forbid a girl hears “Timber” without screaming, “OHMYGOD, BECKY! IT’S MY SONG! WOOHOO! THIS IS MY SONG!!”
6. If your Snapchat story is longer than 25 seconds long, please do less.
You know that no one really watches them anyway unless they’re trying to get rid of them.
7. Drunk texting is not the end of the world, but we can definitely tell when you’re faking it.
This is 2015, aka The Age of Autocorrect. You have to be trying to misspell that many words.
8. We know that you think it’s cute, but taking 700 selfies in the middle of a crowded room is just not.
Your duckface would be better appreciated elsewhere… or maybe not at all.
9. The party environment mixed with a little bit of inevitable homesickness can be enough to make you cry in the bathroom. Don’t do that. As a wise woman once said, “Just dance. Gonna be okay. Da-da doo-doo, just dance.”
Better to dance by yourself than to have mascara streaks coming down your face, right?
10. Eating after a night out certainly isn’t the end of the world, but the freshman 15 is not a myth, so beware.
Then again, you only live once, or, as the kids say, “YOLO.”
11. Most importantly, just have fun, because being a freshman sort of excuses any of this behavior.
Sort of.