Ask a Collegiette: The Truth About Boyfriends in College

Are you a smart and savvy pre-collegiette looking for answers to some of your most personal questions about college? You know, the ones about boys, classes, roommates and parties that your school’s guidance office can’t help you with? Jen is here to answer those questions! Whatever your concern, she’ll do her best to help you so you can make sure you don’t just survive college, but rock it!

Are boyfriends even existent in college nowadays? I've held off on high school relationships to save myself the teenage drama, but the older I get, the more I realize that most guys are just looking for casual hook-ups. There's always THAT girl who has a boyfriend all the time, but is there any hope for a genuine relationship for us normal girls? –Anna

Anna,

In short, the answer to your question is yes, boyfriends exist in college nowadays, and there are some guys who actually want a genuine relationship! College is known for being a hook-up haven, but not everyone is into keeping things casual, and some want an LTR (long-term relationship) just as much as you do.

I completely understand your reasons for avoiding high school relationships, since teenage drama and peers getting all up in your relationship grill can be totally annoying. Like, does it really matter if it’s been five dates and the relationship isn’t “Facebook official” yet? Everyone in high school seems to get super hyped over relationships, and it’s easy to do so since high school is often smaller than college and you see the same people all the time.

Since you’re thinking about how this will change in college, know that there are guys out there who feel the same way as you do. Sure, a lot of them might be looking for hook-ups, but others want actual serious relationships with awesome girls like you. You just never know, so give the guys you meet a chance. If you’re trying to spot them around campus, be on the lookout for guys who genuinely get to know you and are respectful. The ones who want to hold a good conversation with you generally aren’t looking for a simple hook-up. Try to get a feel for a guy’s personality through your conversations together, and if he respects you, he won’t be freaked out when you say you want something more serious. The timing for when you communicate that is totally up to you! If you find out your crush just wanted a hook-up, stay calm and tell him you weren’t looking just for that, since you wanted something more serious; don’t lower your expectations to please him. Like Jay-Z says, on to the next one!

I absolutely agree with you that there’s always that girl with a boyfriend at all times, but there definitely is hope for chronically single ladies like you and me, too! I’d try looking for prospects at places like class or extracurriculars, since you’ll already have things to talk about and maybe even common interests to discuss. These are better spots to begin to get to know a guy in comparison to a party, since you won’t need to worry about trying to hear him talk with all of the bright lights and club music in the background.

As long as you continue to respect and love yourself, know what you want in a relationship and set boundaries concerning how you want your relationship to progress, you’ll be totally fine. This doesn’t mean you’re going to meet Prince Charming during welcome week, but keep hope alive and you’re bound to meet some guys that are just as real and chill as you are.

To help aid in this process of transitioning to college dating life, make sure you get involved with activities on campus that interest you. By putting yourself out there and being yourself, you’ll attract some good guys who will be willing to listen to your desires for a relationship, and would be willing to get to know you before hooking up. Not every guy will have the same intentions, but keep your eyes open for the ones that will. Trust me, they’re out there. Good luck!

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