For the last few weeks, we’ve suffered alongside Meredith through many impromptu matchmaking sessions with her patient-turned-romance instructor Cece. I’m still trying to figure out why she would turn around and actually pay Cece real money for this when she always tries to redirect the conversation, but they don’t put me in charge of the big decisions, so, here we are.
Guest-starring none other than Ted Mosby as the new love-interest (though take that word with the world’s tiniest grain of salt), last week’s episode, “Momma Knows Best,” was the culmination of all those second-hand embarrassments inducing sessions, resulting in the most bizarre date maybe ever. Like, it wasn’t enough that the day started off with Meredith wearing a full-face of makeup and a suit (because apparently that’s the new adult dating attire) and the whole hospital acting like she was a totally different person (come talk to me and my dramatic wing, okay? Then tell me that that was not the tamest full-face look you’ve ever seen). No, it gets worse than that. Because Meredith already didn’t really want to go on this date, despite the clear effort she’d put into her ~lewk~, but Alex, ever the hype man, imposed a rule that she had to spend at least half an hour with her mystery man (because this is a BLIND date, ya’ll! We’re going back. in. time!).
At the restaurant, she managed to track down John pretty easily, despite the fact that his name was all she knew about him. After their brief awkward generic introductory first date chit-chat, they actually kind of hit it off? I was skeptical from the start, okay? I know there is a lot of Derek Shepherd discourse but I am of the mindset that Patrick Dempsey should always get the girl, even if his character is dead. Plus, I just can’t get his previous characters out of my head. But they both liked travel, he kind of liked that she was married to her work, he was definitely into the fact that she’s a big fucking deal in the surgical world (because SHE is the sun), and they both agree to the concept of the “One Thing,” that awful thing that one could say to completely ruin a date. So I’m willing to give this guy a chance.
But then the best thing that has ever happened, happened: John saw a woman across the bar and realized that that was his actual date. That’s right, they were cozying up with the WRONG PEOPLE. It was almost like… unintentional catfishing? But, much to all of our surprise, Meredith was actually enjoying herself on this date (let that be a lesson to everyone to keep an open mind! See? It was fun!), so they each texted their respective intended dates that, unfortunately, they wouldn’t be able to make it. Remember, this is right across the bar, in plain sight. They dumped their dates, via text, within view of their dates. I can’t. But they could! Meredith threw her half an hour rule out the window since they were having such a great time and they kept it going with a walk, but then, the unthinkable happened. JK, they had perfectly set it up back in the restaurant—remember the one thing???? In John’s eyes, single mothers were desperate daters.
Oh, tough break, buddy. Should have thought to ask if she had kids before dragging her! Better luck next time and, please, don’t come back.