For most users, the pathologically addictive flirting-dating-hookup app is merely a game, a guilty pleasure that allows you to flirt or hook up with little effort whatsoever. Yet, after Tinder’s initial buzz and intrigue of simply and sexy flirtation wears off, you inevitably engage in the oh-so loathsome redundancy of swiping away practically every potential suitor that comes up on your radar.
But what if you are a user who simply cannot avoid being swiped away? Max, the anonymous (and mononymous) love guru and self-proclaimed “Tinder expert,” seeks to save his fellow male users from this constant viral rejection in his new eBook, Tinder for Experts: How to stop losing hot matches, wasting time, & getting nowhere. The guidebook, Max tells Business Insider, is based on “accredited seduction psychology” and is sponsored and supported by and is sponsored by Tinder Advisor. And now might just be the perfect time to release the book—next month, Tinder is releasing “Tinder Plus,” a paid version of the app that will offer extra features like an undo button and the ability to widen your search beyond your geographical location.
The very idea of a Tinder advice book brings to mind lists of pick-up lines and selfie tips. “From the very beginning of my ebook, I state that I have internalised literature written by pick-up artists,” Max stated in an interview. “Their advice helped me get over my fear of talking to women and to develop a charming personality in my early adult life… Naturally, when explaining how to properly use Tinder, I build upon concepts often first defined by pick-up artists.” Max adamantly denies all claims that his book can be read as such. Rather, he hopes to be a wingman guardian angel for fellow male users, to save other men time and embarrassment while trying to find a date or hookup. Tinder, he explained, provides the Average Joe user with an opportunity to “attract quality women they might not have dared approach in real life.”
Though the manual, if you will, is catered towards men, Max’s advice could prove to be enlightening and informative for female users, or entertaining— at the very least. After all, we are the ultimate targets of Max’s Tinder strategies. The book offers over 100 pages of tips and tricks to find love or a good night on the app, including (sometimes misogynistic) gems such as The Sweetheart Principle:
“Be the ‘absolute biggest sweetheart.’ I am talking about Ryan Gosling in The Notebook. The guy who can do no wrong and was brought up to do anything for a woman…This is the guy that all women dream about, but would never actually be attracted to in reality…Don’t forget, once you finally do meet her, Ryan Gosling needs to turn into James Bond if you want to avoid a wedding and, instead, guide her seamlessly into your bed.”
Max also fully supports sending dirty photos to prospects via Tinder Moments and cites various incidents in which such tactics have been highly successful.
While Max’s understanding of how to seduce women might be a little (or very) misled here, it does generally condemn the inappropriate objectification of women online. He said, “Tinder is a superficial game…I adamantly discourage such behavior.” He suggests, “To outwit other men, you need to be open to getting to know the woman and having her discover your attractive personality. Women are very sought after on Tinder, they will usually not waste a minute on a guy that treats them disrespectfully.”
Here’s some more on what Max has to say, in case you need to be schooled on Tinder (or are just for your viewing pleasure):
Make the best profile. Your Tinder ID is not like your Facebook profile pic. Avoid photos that that are unclear, are taken with a group of people, or that make you look like you take yourself too seriously. Instead, choose a photo that’s genuine. Bonus points if it reflects your interests or personal style (of course, without falling into what Max refers to as the “d**chebag trap”). Similarly, have fun and be honest with your overall profile; don’t try to be someone you aren’t. Max also recommends that you have your friends objectively rate your profile in order to ensure that you present yourself most successfully—would they date you?
Don’t be too open-minded or too picky. If you’re serious about finding a date on Tinder, Max suggests that you “[increase] the range incrementally”: that is, don’t swipe “yes” to every attractive or interesting person you meet, but on the other hand, don’t be too picky, either. “This will make you prioritize your energy on the ones closest with the highest chance of success.” Max advises his readers to “be honest” with themselves and says “it’s not realistic to only right-swipe models.”
And on that note…You can’t judge a user by his/her profile. You get someone’s name and number. What’s the first thing you do? Facebook stalk them, of course. We’ve all been there. While Max may put a bit too much emphasis on background research (like using Facebook or LinkedIn to double and triple check prospects), his overall message that a silly Tinder profile is not enough to actually know if someone is a catch or not.
Once you have a match—to chat or not to chat? In this section, Max details when it is appropriate or advantageous to check in: the Tinder “prime-times.” Specifically, Max divides these periods into the increments of Monday to Thursday, 7-11 p.m., Friday and Saturday 3-9 p.m., and Sunday 4-11 p.m. Yet, each time zone has a different connotation; in other words, if you’re on the prowl, Sunday morning is probably not the best time for you.
Don’t be too aggressive. While Tinder is often stigmatized as a platform for finding booty calls, you should not approach every person you match with as a sexual conquest. Take the time to actually talk to the person and learn about their personality and interests before you, well, proposition them. Ease into the mega flirtation.
What do you think, collegiettes? Will this guide suddenly make Tinder the ultimate destination for eligible bachelors you’d actually want to date?