FYI, This is what happens when you let the internet handle things.
In Boaty McBoatface-fashion, Doncaster Council left it up to the residents of South Yorkshire to come up with names for two road gritters, Daily Mail reports. And just as the British public came up with the name “Boaty McBoatface” when asked to name a polar research ship (it went on to be called “Sir David Attenborough” but remains Boaty McBoatface in our hearts), residents of South Yorkshire came up with names will leave you rolling, including Spready Mercury, Basil Salty, Grit Van Dyke, True Grit, Rule Grittania, Salt Disney and Gritney Houston.
The top 16 names were compiled into a Twitter poll on the Doncaster Council Twitter page with the hashtag #DoncasterGrittingWorldCup. These names were then narrowed down to Gritsy Bitsy Teeny Weeny Yellow Anti-Slip Machiney, Spready Mercury, Basil Salty, and David Plowie.
And what were the two *brilliant* names chosen? Drum roll please…
We are DELIGHTED to be able to confirm what our new gritters will be called, following the #DoncasterGrittingWorldCup final!
They will be called:
Gritsy Bitsy Teeny Weeny Yellow Anti-Slip Machiney
And
David Plowie
— Doncaster Council (@MyDoncaster) November 17, 2017
Yep, that’s right. Gritsy Bitsy Teeny Weeny Yellow Anti-Slip Machiney and David Plowie. Daily Mail reports that Gritsy Bitsy Teeny Weeny Yellow Anti-Slip Machiney beat Spready Mercury with 53 percent while David Plowie beat Basil Salty with 58 percent.
And if this whole ordeal couldn’t get any more ridiculous(ly awesome), Daily Mail reports that the council broadcasted a live draw on its Twitter page using numbered ping pong balls for the vote.
I didn’t know that this was the type of news I needed in my life, but I truly did.