Which Taylor Swift Song You Are, According to Your Zodiac Sign

Welcome, all, to the percieved final days of the reputation era. As a distraction from the last hours of the countdown to midnight on April 26th, I channeled my desperation for fresh Taylor content into something productive. Now, let me tell you guys something: before yesterday, I knew next to nothing about horoscopes or star signs or what any of it means. By now you should know that I'm Taylor Swift trash, so I dove deep into astrology to bring you this carefully hand-crafted, definitive list of the signs as Taylor Swift songs. 

  1. 1. Aries: Eyes Open

    Aries, what are we going to do with you? You can’t help but to run into the most demanding of situations, but you like to leap before you look. Your stubborn passion is your weapon, and with it you’ll persevere through anything standing in your way, but you like to ignore details you deem unnecessary which will lead you into trouble. You’d better keep your eyes open because, if you continue to hide your insecurities from those around you, you’ll learn your lessons the hard way.

  2. 2. Taurus: Begin Again

    Ah, Taurus — you seek stability in every facet of your life, but especially in your relationships. “Walked in expecting you’d be late, but you got here early and you stand and wave,” is exactly what you’re looking for in a partner. You’d also take a soothing environment over a party, you know, like a cafe on a Wednesday.

  3. 3. Gemini: Better Than Revenge

    As a Gemini, there are no misconceptions about your true intentions. You’ll show people exactly who you are, because to you, actions speak far louder than words ever will. You’ve probably put your foot in your mouth more times than you can count, but it’s never bothered you - you’ll be onto the next thing before you can ever pause to think about the misstep, and if they’re still dwelling on it? Oh well.  

  4. 4. Cancer: All Too Well

    Cancer, let’s not beat around the bush. You’re a highly sensitive individual, and sometimes those emotions may overwhelm you so much you feel burdened by them. Don’t! Your emotions are a gift, and your ability to feel everything all too well is beautiful. You don’t think so, though, so you’ll do anything to avoid direct conflict, but you can hold your own when it arises. Your intuition is on point, and you’re not afraid to consider the possibility that things were lost in translation or that you asked for too much.

  5. 5. Leo: Look What You Made Me Do

    Leo, we love you, but could you, like, chill for a sec? You are absolutely thriving when the spotlight is surrounding you, and drama is often a key ingredient in any of your relationships. The flamboyancy can be fun but when you feel like you’re being threatened, your ego overpowers you. Failure is not an option, and you’ll do whatever it takes to regain your throne.

  6. 6. Virgo: I Know Places

    There is nothing you love more than a good problem to solve, Virgo, and your calculating intelligence will serve you well. You’ll offer your aide to anyone and everyone, but your perfectionism can lead to wasting time as you overthink each step. You want to uncover the best solution, but chasing the ideal can be destructive - keep your eye on the big picture, and everyone else will be chasing their tails trying to keep up.

  7. 7. Libra: Style

    Libra, your relationships are a key player in your life, and you focus a lot of your energy on them. Your elaborate tastes leak into your relationships, and you seek other people that reflect and share them. You’re a people-pleaser, but you run the risk of damaging your connections with those close to you by going out of your way to please people from your outer circle and beyond. Play your cards right and you’ll never go out of style.

  8. 8. Scorpio: Dress

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    Scorpio, you know what you want and you’re already halfway to getting it. You’re always two steps ahead, and when the time is finally right to strike, your ace is coming out. Your mysterious behavior is seductive, and you crave the emotional intimicy in addition to the physical that comes with sex. You will absolutely purchase a dress with the sole intention of having it taken off.

  9. 9. Sagittarius: State of Grace

    Congratulation, Sagittarius - you share the sign of the artist herself. You seek adventure in every aspect of your life and are never content to sit still, no matter the situation. You run full steam ahead into each new exploration, but, as you are constantly searching for your next movement, all you know is touch and go. Your flexibility ensures that you’re always ready for the next big thing, and the mystery of what it is is your state of grace.  

  10. 10. Capricorn: Innocent

    Cap, who hurt you? There’s a good chance you faced your first major struggle at a young age, so you’re no stranger to hard lessons. You’ll stand stronger with each new obstacle you come across, and your ability to navigate your physical and emotional realms enables you to reach your goal, even when someone rains on your parade. But you know it’s never too late to be brand new, and you’ll move on and grow from your, and their, mistakes.

  11. 11. Aquarius: Long Live

    Aquarius, you will save the world. You don’t give it a second thought when you stray away from the popular opinion, because dissension is your comfort zone - if you’re not pushing the boundaries, what are you even doing? So much weight is on your shoulders, but the underdogs will stand by you forever.

  12. 12. Pisces: Sweeter Than Fiction

    Oh, Pisces. You’re oh so dreamy, but your intuition and imagination work together to uncover what others tend to miss. Combined with your empathy and compassion, you’ll stand by those who stand by you, even when those around you can’t see what you do. It’s easy for the waves at the edge of fantasy and reality to pull you under, but you have the wisdom of every other sign bestowed upon you. When reality comes knocking, you might just realize that it’s better than you could have ever imagined.