Apparently, everyone is devastated by Taylor Swift and Calvin Harris’s breakup. The couple of the year, who seemed so in sync just a few weeks ago, has broken up. And they aren’t even the only ones; Demi and Wilmer and Gigi and Zayn went their separate ways in this past week as well. As a Taylor Swift fan myself, I have to admit I felt some sadness for two people I didn’t even really know. But then another emotion set in—a feeling of happiness. It was odd. Was I really that cruel a person, that someone else’s failed relationship gave me joy? Was there some truth to the notion that single people are jealous of other people’s relationships?
A reason why Taylor has become so popular (even my mother is now a fan after I made her drive to a concert with me) is because she is so relatable. She can be clumsy, say too much and doesn’t always do the “cool” thing. However she is still Taylor Swift, one of the most influential figures in today’s music industry. She has a fantastic career, amazing friends, an enviable house, an adorable family, good looks, humor, talent… she is the definition of the full package. And yet, she is now 26 and has only had one serious long-term relationship. And that again, is so wonderfully relatable to any girl who like myself, is in college and single despite her parents questioning why I “have to be so picky.”
Love is, above all, dependent on luck. You can be dating and extroverted and still fail to find someone who you feel is great enough to commit to. Just because you’ve reached a certain age, doesn’t mean you have to be in a relationship and Taylor is a great example of that. Even though many her age and younger are in serious relationships or married, she tends to be the odd one out, now again single. Since settling isn’t an option for any self-respecting woman, such as Taylor, we end up searching and getting frustrated along the way, but we never lose hope to find love. That’s what made me smile after hearing about the Tayvin breakup. Even a couple so enviably perfect, the sheer definition of “couple goals,” didn’t last. And suddenly my single status didn’t seem so odd. If even they couldn’t last, I should really give myself more credit for my dating history and all the chaos that has come with it. Being single doesn’t mean that you aren’t worthy of someone else or that you’re unwanted, it means you just haven’t been lucky yet. More so than that, Taylor has proven that the search for love itself is something exciting and emotional and worthy of respect—that sometimes, that search can be just as rewarding as the final result itself.
I realized that yes, I can be jealous of others’ relationships, especially if they seem as great as the one Taylor and Calvin had—but the emphasis is on the word seem. When I look at the couples in my friend groups who are cheating, bickering and controlling one another, it seems a lot more fun to be searching for love than committed to something that isn’t working. The Tayvin breakup is a reminder to all of us that perfect vacation photos don’t mean a perfect relationship. Despite what haters say, she is very likely not the problem—just like I’m not the problem when it comes to my relationships, or lack thereof. My happiness didn’t stem from feeling smug that Taylor is once again single, but rather from a feeling of unification. And yes; I’m sure she’ll write great songs about her experience, and something to celebrate. She’s making it normal and okay for women to be honest and open about their emotions, and ultimately, those emotions will be ones we can probably all relate to. Of course, there will always be the haters who won’t have good things to say about her. And all the reactions towards her latest breakup has made me realize just how much pressure people are putting on young women to commit. Taylor just defied that pressure and reminded me being single is awesome, and whether or not you’re in a relationship doesn’t define your worth.