You: So my friends decided that I’m going to be called Jwoww from now on.
Mom: Oh, I don’t know her. I only know Snootchie and the Scenario.
Texting is a great way to stay in touch with your parents when you’re away at college… but let’s face it: when you give the ‘rents a tiny screen and a thumbs-only keypad, hilarity ensues!
That’s why brothers Stephen and Wayne Miltz created CrazyThingsParentsText.com, where you can read some of the hilarious text messages that parents have sent to their kids (and submit insanely funny texts from your own mom or dad!). Updated daily with new user-submitted texts, the site is a great procrastination tool if you’re stuck in the library and can’t bring yourself to start studying for that midterm. Plus, it will make you grateful if your parents don’t have texting!
Here are HC’s fave Crazy Things Parents Text:
Me: Got an A in Chem!
Mom: WTF, well done.
Me: What do you think WTF means.
Mom: Wow That’s Fantastic.
From Dad: Let’s do some math! Harry Potter > Voldemort. Voldemort > Cedric Diggory. Cedric Diggory = Edward Cullen. Therefore, Harry Potter > Edward Cullen.
Dad: I don’t care if you smoke weed before every class, as long as you keep your scholarship I’m proud of you.
Me: What time are you picking me up?
Dad: Who is this?
Me: Your son.
Dad: How did you get this number?
Me: I programmed your phone, remember?
Dad: How do I delete people?
Dad: You know I’m an equal opportunity hater
Me: I know, but you love me :D
Dad: Your mother says I have to
Me: You owe me $350 for the ipad.
Dad: Ok. You owe me hundreds of thousands for your entire life.
Mom: R u home yet? Need U 2 GTD
Me: Mom, what the hell does GTD mean?
Mom: GET THE DISHWASHER
Me:…oh okay. You know, you can’t just go around making your own acronyms.
From Dad: If the cops are flashing their lights at you, they just want to see how fast you can really drive. Impress them.
Me: I was offered a job!
Dad: Accept it before they discover their mistake.
Me: Please please please PLEASE don’t make me go on that fishing trip. I promise I’ll clean the house, I won’t talk back, and I’ll be a good child for the rest of my life.
Dad: ><\\\o>. ><\\\o>. ><\\\o>. ><\\\o>. ><\\\o>. 5 fisheez 4 u
Me: Jokes on you I keep submitting ur texts to “crazy things parents text”
Dad: I write your phone number on bathroom walls
Mom: Your father is driving me crazy when are you coming home!!!
Me: I’m out with friends so not till late sorry!!
Mom: Its ok I put Ambien in his tea… he wont be annoying me much longer.
Dad: Really, a tongue ring? What happens if you are innocently trying to catch a drop of rain on your tongue, and lighting strikes? Your tongue will fall off.
For even more Crazy Things Parents Text, check out the new book of the same name, filled with never-before-published texts from quirky moms and dads. (And you thought your parents were weird…)
So, HC readers, we’re dying to know–what are some crazy things that YOUR parents text?
Leave a comment below!