Some people want the kind of love we see in movies, the effortless and unquestionable Nicholas Sparks kind of love that can overcome any number of obstacles: war, an unfortunate accident resulting in amnesia, a family emergency on another continent—normal people stuff, right? Wrong.
What’s frustrating about typical romance movies is that they tell a story which simply wouldn’t happen in real life. So, if you need a refresher on what love actually looks like, give these movies a try.
1. (500) Days of Summer
As the narrator puts it: “This is a story of boy meets girl, but you should know upfront, this is not a love story.” This movie focuses on the funny nature of fate and the consequences of putting too much faith in the phrase, “meant to be.” Aside from a lovely soundtrack, one of the talking points of this movie is how it jumps sporadically between moments in Tom and Summer’s 500-day relationship, showing that in retrospect, things aren’t always as perfect as they once appeared. Now that’s some truth tea.
2. Blue is the Warmest Color
This critically-acclaimed film made waves in the industry for its fresh approach to filmmaking and honest, emotional performances by the two female stars. The relationship between Adèle and Emma is premised on pure passion, and this ultimately proves to be their downfall. Classic.
3. La La Land
Although La La Land feels like a Hollywood fairytale filled with catchy duets and well-choreographed dance numbers, it shows the difficulty of balancing a relationship with personal development. Sebastian and Mia seem to be a perfect match, but they ultimately have to accept that their lives are heading in different directions. Sound like college dating much?
4. Celeste and Jesse Forever
This unconventional rom-com explores the seemingly pleasant aftermath of a six-year marriage: Celeste and Jesse are separated, but still live together as “best friends.” Sometimes the key component missing in a breakup is the break, and this story follows the complicated process of letting go when you’re not quite ready.
5. Moonlight
Many romantic movies are faulty because they make love seem to be the only driving force in a person’s life. 2016’s Best Picture Moonlight takes a nuanced look at the complications of love framed in a bigger picture of identity, showing how our relationships shape us in good ways and bad but are not our sole purpose in life.
6. Like Crazy
Sometimes things don’t work out. Other times, it seems like life is just being unfair. Anna, a British exchange student, falls in love with Jacob, a college classmate in America. Everything is going wonderfully until Anna gets banned from the U.S. for overstaying her Visa. The movie follows their struggle to hold on to their relationship, all the while wondering if it’s worth fighting for (no one ever said long distance was easy).
7. Blue Valentine
As you can probably guess from the title, this isn’t a happy movie. This story doesn’t sugarcoat romance. Instead, it tells the sad truth that people can fall out of love just as easily as they fall into it. This is one of the few Ryan Gosling movies where he doesn’t turn out to be the ideal man of your dreams.
I wouldn’t call myself an expert on love (I haven’t watched enough episodes of The Bachelor to earn my certification yet), but I’m fairly sure that love isn’t always romantic or easy, and it certainly doesn’t always end with a happily ever after. Although it’s nice to put on a fluffy rom-com to pass the time, it’s refreshing to watch a movie that feels like it could actually happen. On that note, if anyone’s ever gotten anywhere sending 365 letters to their SO, let me know.