We hear you talking behind our well-insulated backs: “All girls in parkas look like the same shapeless lump during winter!” “It’s so basic to wear a black North Face parka!” “I can’t tell one girl from another when it’s cold outside!” Well, guess what? We parka-wearers couldn’t care less. Don’t hate on our winter habits until you’ve had a taste of coat heaven for yourself. While you’re bitterly shuffling to class in a jacket that might have sufficed for walking to your car in the high school parking lot, we’re winter-ready and toasty as hell from the tops of our heads to our kneecaps. Say what you will, but parkas are a dream wrapped in a wish poured into a winter coat. And here’s why:
1. It’s a portable sleeping bag
You’ll never be cold in class, because you’ve always got a makeshift blanket with you. And if the professor is especially boring one day, you’ve got your parka to curl up in so you can doze off while pretending you’re listening.
2. It’s element-proof
Wind, rain, snow – bring it on! You can actually make it to your classes in a negative wind chill because your parka is there to protect you!
3. The padding is heavenly
On icy days, you’ve got a built-in tailbone protector in case you fall. And you never have to worry about wearing layers, because your parka keeps you so warm! It’s like walking to class while simultaneously being cuddled by clouds.
4. You’ll never need to carry a purse during winter
If you’ve got a parka, you know just how many deep, cozy pockets come along with it. You don’t have to worry about where you put your keys, ChapStick, breath mints, cash, phone, student ID or headphones, because there’s room for everything!
5. Even your face stays warm thanks to the hood
We may look like we’re preparing for the arctic and have to turn our heads completely to the side before crossing the street, but say goodbye to numb ears and cheeks. Parka hoods are the cherry on top of these magical coats. This will never be you again:
6. You don’t have to worry about wearing a cute outfit
You could wear your pajamas to class if you wanted! Just keep your parka zipped, and you’ll save plenty of getting-ready time in the morning. And no one has to know you’re wearing sweats that haven’t been washed since September.
7. You can save money on heat
When you get home from class, there’s no need to crank up your radiator. Just keep your parka on, and you’ll always stay toasty.
Some people may never accept that winter parkas are worn for good reason, but it’s their loss. We will pledge allegiance to the North Face and its comrades in winter warmth for as long as we shall be forced to trudge across campus in winter weather.