How many romantic comedies have you watched during a Girls-Night-In about a girl falling in love with the perfect person at the time they least expected it or that exact moment they needed it? Well, in real life, there isn’t really a right time to start a relationship.
As college students, finding the right time for anything – especially developing and defining a new relationship – is nearly impossible. That’s why if you find someone you like, you should just go for it, even if the timing is a little less than ideal. Not sold on the idea yet? Here’s why some women did, and advice they have if you decide to too.
All of the reasons to start a new relationship:
It’s worth it
For some, the threat of a looming ending or new beginning might send them running for the hills. That doesn’t have to be you, though. “If you really care about someone, then you’ll want them by your side for the future and what’s to come,” says University of South Carolina senior, Abby Givens. “It’s worth trying to be together.” The key word here, is trying. The future isn’t guaranteed, and there’s no way to know what will work out or where you’ll be a year or two from now. If you have feelings for someone, that uncertainty doesn’t have to be a deal breaker. Why not see where your relationship could go instead?
The future is impossible to plan
If your Erin Condren planner is always by your side, the mere thought of not planning anything is probably terrifying. When it comes to relationships, there’s no way to painstakingly plan out everyday or the important milestones. “You never know when you’re going to meet someone you really like,” says Morgan Wilkinson, a senior at the University of South Carolina. It’s that thrill that makes dating so fun, so next time you can’t stop thinking about the guy you just met, let yourself explore a possible future; even if the timing might not be absolutely perfect.
To try something new
Not everyone is willing to jump right into a relationship. Plus, in addition to the complications of the end of the school year, starting a new relationship might seem completely out of the question. However, if you’re in this situation, it might be worthwhile to step out of your comfort zone and go for it. You can always learn something from experiencing something different.
Advice on how to make your new relationship work:
Set aside time to talk
This might seem easy. It might even be something you already do, but if you end up moving away from each other for a job or other opportunity, finding that time could become tricky. “Set aside time to talk to stay up to date with each others lives, even if that means facetiming for twenty minutes or more a night,” says Abby. Communication is vital to the success of any relationship, so if you start one at a tricky time, like the end of the semester or school year, it’s important to stay in touch despite distance.
Don’t let the relationship define you
Starting a relationship at a breaking point, like the end of the school year, makes it easy to spend all of your time making sure the relationship succeeds– especially if you’re long distance. That’s why Morgan’s advice is to “make sure your relationship is only a part of your life instead of your whole life.” New relationships are enveloping, but ones that begin during a complicated time of your life can sometimes become even more overwhelming. To avoid becoming too invested, set aside time for friends and family and remember to find a hobby or project you’re excited about that you can work on for yourself.
Plan visits
If you do decide to try it, keeping up with a relationship at a crossroad isn’t always easy. It’s hard to find time to visit or talk when schedules conflict and distance doesn’t make that any easier. “It’s really important to make sure you visit often,” said Morgan. “It helps if you have an idea of when you can be together again, so you’re able to look forward to a date night or just being together.” Whether it’s just once or five times, finding a way to visit makes a relationship stronger.
Starting a new relationship is scary in general. Starting one at the end of the semester or end of anything makes that leap even harder. Take it from these women, it’s worth the risk!