Need Dr. Drew relationship advice but don’t have the sensationalistic drama to warrant TV time? Unfortunately, Real Live College Guy Ryan isn’t a reality show therapist. However, he can provide the lowdown on everything you’ve ever wanted to know about college males: how they think, act, speak and genuinely interact with the women in their lives. College-aged men are walking paradoxes, but that doesn’t mean they can’t be understood. Read on and discover how to deal with their good, bad and (often times) confusing mannerisms.
My high school boyfriend and I decided to break up before college because we were heading to school on opposite sides of the country. But we said we would keep in touch through Facebook, texting, e-mail, Skype, etc. He also talked about all the places we could hang out together when I came home for Christmas. Now that I’m gone, I’ve started a few conversations, but he’s always ended them, and he’s never initiated any contact with me. Why did he say he wanted to keep in touch but not follow through? I still care about him as much as ever, and I can’t get used to not even talking to him. – Lonely at Lawrence
Lonely at Lawrence,
Your ex is quite the polite young man. Let’s clarify what he really meant to say (but didn’t have the guts to): “We’re over. Feel free to ask what I’m doing, but don’t expect much of a response. Peace.”
His suggestion that you keep in “contact” was just him beating around the bush that he’s moving on. When a couple breaks up immediately after graduation, it’s rare that both members will want to stay constantly involved in the other’s life. The distance and college environment doesn’t make for easy friendship preservation.
Unfortunately, there’s not much you can do here but also move forward. You’ve initiated conversation, but he’s typically unresponsive; thus, start severing the ties now. If you don’t, your feelings for him will affect all parts of your college experience: completing schoolwork, making friends, and even deciding to remain at your chosen school. It’s a slippery slope to a very bad freshman year that you don’t want to experience.
Look, it’s obvious to say that break-ups are hard, but keep your head up and get out there. Experience college for all it’s worth. There’s no sense worrying over an ex who hasn’t made your friendship a priority. Who knows – through letting loose you might just meet that group of friends (or that guy) that allows you to forget the ex-flame.