Broke from calling late-night love lines for advice? Looking for the lowdown on the hoedown when it comes to college guys? Real Live College Guy Sean is here to help you pick apart the mind of the average college guy. Whether it’s avoiding that awkward weekend hook-up, or full-on relationship advice, Sean is here to save the day!
My best guy friend always led me on, cuddling with me, flirting with me and calling me his “number 1 gal”- so clearly we were more than just friends. There were other girls in the picture, but because I liked him so much, I tried to ignore it and hoped that eventually we could move on with our friendship- pathetic right? Finally after a couple of years of torture we ended up confessing our feelings for each other and we hooked up (it was my first time) and soon after he said it would just be better if we went back to being best friends because he cares so much about our friendship and a relationship could end badly. To me this sudden “ending” was heart-breaking but he is totally comfortable just being friends again. What do I do? He’s my best friend, we have the same friends and I don’t want to lose him, but I know the way he treated me was inconsiderate and unfair. And what’s worse is I guess in some warped way I still want more from him. – Confused at Conn College
So you’re best friends. You feel like you’ve known them forever and they’re just like a sibling, but closer. Every now and then though, you’ll wonder if you would make a good couple. I mean everything is there right? You laugh at the same jokes, like the same foods, and even enjoy the same Ben & Jerry’s flavor. Why wouldn’t you make a good couple?
Taking this into consideration, it makes sense to tell them how you feel and to see if there is a deeper connection. Sometimes, you’ll find yourself in a scenario similar to this. You hook up, but it either doesn’t feel right or the other person doesn’t feel the same way, leaving you with these stale feelings.
You’re definitely right about one thing. The way he treated you was pretty inconsiderate and unfair. That alone should clue you in on the fact that he’s simply not that good of a person, let alone a boyfriend. A real man would have admitted that he doesn’t feel the same way and given much more rationale for his feelings. He may have been your friend at one point, but as soon as he took advantage of the fact that you liked him, he lost a whole lot of respect in my book. He may not have meant to hurt you, but he did, and if he truly cared about you, he wouldn’t have done that. End of story. Furthermore, it’s pretty unfortunate that he doesn’t really seem super-keen on apologizing for it either.
I know it’s hard since you both share the same group of friends, but if I were you, I’d distance myself from him ASAP. Take a breather from him and let your feelings settle down. Maybe a little time away from you will show him exactly what he’s missing & make him clean up his act. If not, then you are much better off, and the time apart will help you move on. Maybe in the future you two can be chummy once again, but right now needs to be black and white, rather than this messy grey area.
Photo Credits:
Couple Talking in Park