You wake up in an unknown bed wearing last night’s clothes—or worse, wearing nothing at all. You turn to your side and see the body of a guy you might have just met the night before (sadly, he’s not as cute as he looked via your drunk goggles). Your mouth is dry, your eyes are burning, and your head is pounding—you’d do anything for a tall glass of water, a pair of comfy pjs, and a ride home. But chances are, the dreaded walk of shame stands between you and all those things. You’re not alone, we’ve all been there. Read on to hear about other collegiettes’ crazy, funny, or just plain weird walks of shame.
From sequin minis to clown costumes, we always seem to be wearing outfits that were not intended for wearing in broad daylight.
“My best walk of shame was after an 80’s party. I had to walk halfway across campus in the morning in zebra print leggings and a pink tube top, carrying my heels. It was snowing and I walked by three tours.” – Sarah, Michigan State University
“So this didn’t happen to me, but I witnessed it. Freshman year my room had the perfect view of all the other freshman dorms. One Sunday around lunchtime, I happened to glance out the window. It was pouring outside, like bad New England style with puddles everywhere. Then I noticed this girl walking to the dorm directly in front of mine. She had a black mini skirt on, one heel (the other was in her hand), and a glittery tank-top. Her hair had probably been in a clean stylish up-do the night before, but it looked like she hadn’t brushed her hair in 3 days. She had a purse in the other hand and I’m pretty sure her skirt was twisted sideways. The poor girl was trampling home in the rain, midday. The humiliation! I guarantee I was not the only person watching.” – Marion, Boston College
“I went to a Halloween party dressed like a sexy clown, partied a little too hard, and slept over my boyfriend at the time’s dorm room. Needless to say, I had to do the walk of shame with a smeared red nose, striped socks, a super short polka dot dress and heels in hand. Not my proudest moment!” – Claire, Penn State University
”During my freshman year (obviously, my most shameful year in terms of hook-ups), for some reason I would only ever have to do the walk-of-shame when it was either raining or after a themed costume party. This being said, my worst walk-of-shame ever was the ever-feared November 1st: the morning after Halloween. I had gone out as a not-so-innocent Alice in Wonderland, and regretfully made the decision to stay the night at my current hook-up’s dorm. The next morning, not only was it freezing outside, but it was also pouring down rain, thus leaving me no choice. Yes, I borrowed my hook-up’s rain-coat which, as you can imagine, was longer than my costume, forcing me to traipse across campus seemingly naked to onlookers.” – Chloe, New York University
“It was the weekend before my birthday and my friends and I were out celebrating at a club. I ended up going home with a guy and begged him for a ride home in the morning when I realized how far away his place was from mine. He said no so I began my birthday walk of shame with a tiara in hand. Halfway back to my place, I ran into a girl who was wearing an oversized men’s tee and carrying her high heels. I laughed, smiled, and said “good, you too.” We instantly bonded. I was happy to hear she didn’t even think I was on a walk of shame. This poor girl was so embarrassed and ashamed but I think I helped ease her nerves by chatting about our nights, our majors, and life in general. Lucky for her she only had to walk about a block, I on the other hand, had to walk all the way across campus. I almost wore my birthday tiara from the night before just to spice things up a bit. Imagine the stares I would have gotten!” – Megan, University of Southern California
Humiliation Saving Tip #1: Bring a change of clothes if you think you’re going to spend the night out.
If you don’t plan these things (most of us don’t), ask the guy if you can borrow a pair of sweats. At the very least, wash the smeared makeup off your face and tame the wild post-hook-up hair.
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Things get real awkward when we run into our professors, ex-boyfriends, siblings, former hook-ups or innocent church-goers on our infamous walks home.
“Walking to my car from my hook-up’s room, I ran into my professor walking his dog on campus the day after Halloween. I was still in a miniskirt… it was snowing. He said, ‘you’re a little bit underdressed.’” – Michelle, Central Michigan University
“I was coming back from my boyfriend’s apartment at 7:45 one morning so I could shower and change before class. I looked like a complete mess (unbrushed hair, smudged makeup, heels, the whole nine yards), so I hoped I wouldn’t see anyone I knew on the way back. I swiped into my building and took the elevator up to my floor, thankful I hadn’t seen anyone I knew, when the elevator doors opened and a former hook-up walked in! We had ended on very, very bad terms – he lied to me, I lost my virginity to him, he stopped talking to me entirely, and I had a false alarm pregnancy scare… and did I mention he lives across the hall from me? – and he definitely knew why I was coming back to the dorm so early. Talk about awkward!” – Lauren, Arizona State University
“I was visiting my friends at a nearby college when my best friend informed me the guy I had a huge crush on (who went to my college) was also visiting his friends at the other college. While we were out partying, we decided to go to the house he was staying at, but unfortunately he was still at the bar. The guys veered me in the direction of another guy and before I knew it I was in bed with the new guy. The next morning, I woke up and walked downstairs to find the guy I was supposed to hook up with sitting on the couch eating cereal. We both knew each other existed but had never been formally introduced before. I said, ‘nice jersey’ and quickly walked out of the house followed by the guy who I had hooked up with the night before. Luckily he drove me back to my friend’s apartment. I’m still mad at myself for missing out on hooking up with my crush.” – Christina, Western Michigan University
“The summer after freshman year, I developed a crush on a really close guy friend. I told him how I felt, but apparently I was too late… he said he had previously had feelings for me, but was currently dating my friend’s horrible roommate who absolutely hated me. Needless to say, it got messy (I’m not sure who lets me have a cell phone when I drink… but that’s another story). After all that drama, I ran into another guy at a party that I had seen out before and thought was adorable. We started talking, hung out all night, and I ended up going home with him. I woke up super early so that I could walk back to my apartment without having to endure any awkward encounters with people on their way to class, but man I wish I would have waited. I walked out the door (in my dress and heels, tights in hand, and morning-after makeup and hair) and came face-to-face with my freshman year crush. I mumbled “Hey,” and ran by, but man, was that awkward! I was not expecting to see anyone, let alone him. He didn’t even live in that apartment complex! Needless to say, after that we really never talked again. He was really conservative, and since it was pretty obvious where I was coming from, that turned him off completely. Whoops! I still laugh about it every time I think about it.” – Kaille, Purdue University
“Nothing like walking out of the guy’s room you hooked up with last night, just to see a guy you used to hook up with sitting on the couch staring you down. It’s a small world after all.” – Rachel, University of Michigan
Humiliation Saving Tip #2: If you have any idea that you might run into a certain someone you’d rather not see post-booty, take an alternative route home.
If you do happen to run into them, smile and act casual. Do not, under any circumstances, show that you are embarrassed or ashamed.
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It’s easy for our dirty little secrets and nightly escapades to be broadcast to the entire campus.
“So last Wednesday (no judgment) my friends and I went to this pretty exclusive club, and we all got a little wild and I ended up going home with this really cute Colombian guy from my school. Things get hot and heavy and clothes came off and I ended up staying the night. The next morning I go to look for my dress and bra and I can only find my tights, fur coat, and high heels. The guy and I searched for almost 20 minutes and couldn’t find either- and I had my first business class that I couldn’t miss. So I was forced to walk of shame in tights, fur coat and high heels, (fake eyelashes still on) all the way back to my building. It was humiliating, but not as humiliating as it was when he announced across our English classroom a couple mornings later that he found my dress in the drawer he keeps his condoms in. Needless to say- I must have made quite the first impression in class.” – Mackenzie, Suffolk University
“My sophomore year I was hooking up with this guy who went to Boston College. I went back to his place with him one Thursday night but I had class early Friday morning. It was my first time sleeping at his place and I had no idea where I was in relation to anything. I left at 7am and in a haze he gave me directions to a busier street to find a cab, but I’m completely directionally challenged and was barely listening to him. By the time I got outside, I realized I was wearing my barely there mini skirt, and 5 inch heels from last night. On top of all that, I was also wearing one of his t-shirts that just hit my knees. I kept trying to tie his t-shirt up so it didn’t look as long, but I think that only made matters worse. I looked like a hot mess, but I figured it was 7:30 in the morning and that, in a college town, there was NO way I was going to run into anyone on a Friday morning. Well, I was wrong. Not only did the Boston College girls’ lacrosse team run by me during their practice (pointing and laughing) but I was apparently also the morning entertainment for EVERY truck in the city. Seeing as I have no sense of direction, I ended up at a nearby hospital where, for some reason, there were at least 30 people… of course all staring. I was on the phone sobbing to my best friend while I desperately looked for a cab. When I finally found a cab, the driver couldn’t help but laugh at me and lecture me on pre-marital sex. To say I was mortified would be an understatement. BUT of course, that wasn’t the end. When I rushed out of the cab in front of my apartment (praying that I wouldn’t see anyone), a girl in my sorority was walking out and pointed out to me that I wasn’t wearing any underwear. I ended up skipping class and sleeping off the embarrassment. Who knew so much could happen before 10 am?” – Nicole, Boston University
“I spent the night at a frat and woke up the next morning to start my walk home. I thought I looked funny wearing my party clothes from the night before, but then I got on the bus and came face-to-face with one of my guy friends. He had purple and green marker all over his face. I instantly started cracking up and soon realized he had no clue what could be so funny. Come to find out, he had no idea there was anything on his face. His frat brothers had drawn all over his face after he fell asleep. The bus driver admitted that she noticed the colorful designs on his face but didn’t have the nerve to tell him. It was hilarious but I did feel a little bad for him!” – Christina, Loyola University Chicago
Humiliation Saving Tip #3: Keep your stories hush, hush and avoid highly populated locales such as buses, trains, and the center of campus.
Walks of Shame happen to the best of us so hold your heads up high and strut your stuff home. Who cares if you get a few funny stares or disapproving glares? It’s all part of the college fun (just make sure to be safe). We’d love to hear your best/worst/funniest/most embarrassing morning after or walk of shame stories, so share away!