So you’re single this year and you can’t seem to avoid the sickeningly sweet couples, no matter where you go. If you’re hoping to avoid the surge of PDA during Valentine’s Day and you don’t know what to do, fear not! You don’t have to mope around your room doing homework if you don’t have a date. Instead of sulking alone and weeping into your pillow, throw a party for you and your single girlfriends and get your Anti-Valentine’s Day on!
1. Break out the anti-romance tunes to belt at the top of your lungs (& make a music video!)
It’s time to make a playlist of the best anti-love anthems on your iTunes. What’s better than sing-shouting “We are NEVER EVER EVER getting back together!” with your girlfriends? If you’re willing to take it one step further, why not direct and star in your own music video featuring one of the songs? Here’s a list of some songs that you can get creative with:
- “How To Be A Heartbreaker” by Marina and The Diamonds
- “Blank Space” by Taylor Swift
- “So What” by Pink
- “Somebody That I Used To Know” by Gotye
- “Me Myself and I” by Beyonce
- “Lips Are Movin” by Meghan Trainor
- “Since U Been Gone” by Kelly Clarkson
- “Gives You Hell” by All American Rejects
- “So Yesterday” by Hilary Duff
- “Part of Me” by Katy Perry
- “We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together” by Taylor Swift
- “Don’t Call Me Baby” by Kreesha Turner
- “Knock Em Out” by Lily Allen
- “Stronger” by Britney Spears
- “Black Widow” by Iggy Azalea
- “7 Things” by Miley Cyrus
- “Fighter” by Christina Aguilera
- “Forget You” by Cee Lo Green
2. Spam your Facebook page with anti-love quote statuses and anti-love memes
While everyone is posting lovey-dovey statuses about unconditional, never-ending love, and Instagramming cutesy couples pictures or photos of their fancy dinners, bouquets of roses and expensive chocolates, why not counter those posts with some Anti-Valentine’s Day equivalents?
That’s right, bring out the anti-love quotes for your statuses. A quick Google search can lead to a trove of bitter-yet-funny quotes that you can post to your liking:
- “Love hurts but so does getting hit by a car. I’d rather go with the car.” – Anonymous
- “I think I’ll go anti-love. Really. Who wants butterflies in your stomach and your heart skipping beats? That can’t be safe.” – Anonymous
- “They say love is in the air, so I hold my breath until my face turn purple.” – Lil Wayne (“HYFR”)
- “If you think you’re in love, run your head into a brick wall. It’ll hurt a lot less in the end.” – Anonymous
- “I got your love letters, corrected the grammar, and sent them back. It’s true. Romance is dead.” – Fall Out Boy (“The Music Or The Misery”)
If that’s not enough, find some anti-love memes to sprinkle a little Anti-Valentine’s spirit onto your friends’ timelines:
“One night stand, that’s all the storage space I’ll need.”
“I’m going to spend Valentine’s Day…with my Xbox 360.”
3. Create and destroy a heart-shaped piñata
It’s time to get crafty. Fill it up with whatever you like (candy and chocolate never hurt, as long as they’re not Valentine’s products!), or fill it up with nothing at all. You have to take out that aggression somehow; why not with a good old-fashioned beating? After all, hearts were made to be broken.
4. Punch up a storm
Speaking of aggression, why not kick and punch it away? Instead of laying in bed, being haunted by the ghosts of Valentine’s past, get on your feet and get moving! While your loved-up friends are out eating fancy dinners and indulging in chocolates, why not work up a sweat and burn some calories? There are some good kickboxing workout videos worth checking out on YouTube.
5. Grade your exes
You’re used to being evaluated but for this special night, you’re the one that will be doing the evaluating! Get your girls together and (not only complain about your exes but) grade your exes! Did he put his friends before you? Did he have any bad habits that annoyed you?
Go on then, start writing that on his report card!
Here are some subject/category suggestions:
- Looks
- Personality
- Creativity
- Intelligence
- Humor
- Extra comments
Once you’re done, share the results with your friends and see if they agree. After all, what’s the point of a get-together if you can’t trash your exes?