We have all heard about that couple who spent their entire undergraduate career at different colleges without ever breaking up, attended grad school together, and then eventually got married. However, I think those are only ever heard about for a reason – they’re myths. I believe that long-distance relationships, especially those in college, a time to be learning about yourself and making the most of your life, are futile efforts. I have know plenty of couples who decided to still stay together after high school and “try to make it work,” only to be broken up in a dramatic series of fights via Skype within the first couple of months of their freshman year. There are also the couples who manage to make it work, but spend more time at/traveling to their significant other’s campus than spending weekends at their own, and never become fully;;y acclimated to their school. Finally, there are the most optimistic couples who are making the biggest mistake (this was the category I fell into during my freshman year), the ones who decide to be a part of newly long-distance relationships. I know that there are some couples who have weathered it out and made it work, and I’m not saying that all long-distance relationships fail 100 percent of the time, but it is a difficult struggle. Before you decide to make the commitment, take a read at some of what might happen in a long-distance relationship.
Being in constant communication
Considering that it’s so difficult to spend time with the other person, expect to continuously communicate with him/her. I generally found myself glued to my cell phone or on Skype during any free time that I had. God forbid something happen like I lose my phone at a club or it breaks. My world was a lonely place until I could get it fixed. Along with this, the only type of attention that you can get from your boyfriend/girlfriend in a long-distance relationship is that through technology. If he/she inexplicably doesn’t text you in a few hours or day, you become slightly concerned about their whereabouts.
Can’t partake in enjoyable everyday activities
Larkin, sophomore at West Virginia University, says, “The whole point of a relationship is companionship and when there’s distance, the companionship part is lacking. You can’t spend time together whenever you want.” Silly, everyday activities that most couples take for granted (like watching game shows or meeting up for coffee between classes) become nearly impossible to do. Small, romantic gestures are automatically large, romantic gestures due to the distance.
Time spent together is never enough
The weekends never seem long enough and the weeks always drag on. Any time that’s spent together is very scheduled, and it’s never enough. Impromptu visits are only feasible if you have the time and money to drive to his/her school. Also, any form of physical relationships struggles. There can be, and usually is, a lack of regular intimacy. It seems that many couples spend the majority of their time talking about the future – like what you want to do the next time you see the other, how great Christmas break will be when you’ll have a month for each other, or planning out the next time to visit each other.
Trust (or a lack of it)
Trust can be difficult in any relationship, but is especially difficult in a long-distance one. However, anyone who has experienced one of this knows that trust is what you need the most in this type of relationship. It can be difficult at times, because cheating can happen on either or both ends. It becomes much easier to feel entitled in questioning what your boyfriend/girlfriend is doing if the relationship is long-distance. Friends of the opposite sex might be seen as more of a threat than normal. Facebook is protected more because innocent pictures or wall posts might be questioned about by either party. You might worry more about pictures of him with girls at a party. Facebook seems to have a tendency to make people feel more insecure in long distance relationships.
These are just some of the issues I’ve witnessed and experienced with some of my long-distance relationships. No two relationships are the same, but I do strongly caution anyone in college against long-distance relationships, just because of their level of difficulty and commitment. This is the time in your life to be having fun – you’ll have years to be in long-distance and fully devoted relationships. But in the meantime, WVU has almost 30,000 students, so I’m sure that if we search hard enough, we can all find someone here.