I have competed in pageants since I was 16. My proudest accomplishment through my pageant career happened last year when I placed first runner-up at Miss West Virginia USA.
I know what some think… Pageants are demeaning to women and sets feminism back decades. If I’m being honest, I don’t blame these assumptions and completely understand where they’re coming from. Shows like Toddlers in Tiaras have tainted the pageant world, turning it into something that it truly is not. However, for me, I have learned many valuable life skills while standing on a stage and I hope others have had the same experiences I have had:
1. One can channel immense power and confidence in a cocktail, swimsuit, gown, etc.
There is nothing like the adrenaline rush of stepping onto a stage with all eyes on you. At first, it was extremely awkward, especially in swimsuit. It’s like that bad dream where you are giving a speech and you realize that you’re the only person in your underwear is brought to life. However, there is also this attitude and confidence that develops once you’re comfortable with the attention.
2. It is important to remember to build a life as well as a résumé.
I see this all the time, and I used to be guilty as well. Every motive for every action you make is for the sole purpose of filling out an application. Life is too short to not make time for fun. Memories and experiences will never fade from a sheet of paper.
3. At the same time, résumé building can lead you to finding your true passions.
My first big résumé builder was when I began to work with a program named Girl Talk, which is a peer to peer mentoring program for girls. However, it was through this program that I found a passion for teaching. When you feel inspired, run with it.
4. Opinions are only opinions.
Over the years, I have heard quite the collection of comments: “Too fat, too thin, too blonde, too serious, not serious enough, too dumb, not successful, etc.” Like most things in life, the person walking away the deemed winner is based on the opinion of strangers. It doesn’t and will never define you.
5. Public speaking may be terrifying but a very powerful weapon.
The dreaded onstage question… Pageant girls have been patronized by hard-hitting questions that government officials can’t even answer for years. Even if you do bomb the onstage (which trust me I have many times), it prepares you for being a role model and speaker on social causes that inspires you.
6. Losing is necessary.
I’ve competed a little under 50 times for various pageants, and I’ve only won three times. After awhile, losing so much begins to hurt your pride, until you don’t have any left. It is in that moment that I believe true character and grit is developed. Keep chasing your dreams, you do you.
7. Strong women support and uplift other women.
Pageants are known for their cattiness and rightfully so. There are mean girls that might preach cupcakes, puppies, and rainbows, all while sharpening their pitchforks. I’ve encountered some of the most self-absorbed people I’ve ever met in my entire life through pageantry. However, for every bad apple there are at least ten genuine people to cancel them out. Friends and enemies are made, it’s a part of life. Always surround yourself with good people.
8. Political corruption is unavoidable in almost any organization.
The best example of this was when Miss USA 2015 was not nationally broadcasted simply because Donald Trump still owned the Miss Universe Organization. My heart broke for the women who dedicated their lives to a goal, and when they finally obtained it, were shut down due to something completely out of their control.
9. It is a responsibility to be viewed as a public figure because of one’s “beauty.”
I love the Miss Universe Organization’s mantra “confidently beautiful” because it means so much more than outer beauty. It is beauty that stems from within and shines through confidence. I am forever aspiring to be, as the true queen Pia Alonzo Wurtzbach (Miss Universe 2016) said, “confidently beautiful- with a heart.”
10. Being a role model is humbling.
I once had a young girl comment on my Instagram, “I want to be you… I look up to you! Not only because of your body but because how you are wanting to be a teacher and help other in any sort of way you are possible to!” I can remember the days when I was her age and wanted to be someone else, too. It is now my job to remind girls that the best person you can ever be is yourself.
I have had a love/hate relationship with what I do since the day I began competing. However, I am so incredibly thankful for pageantry, because it has shaped me into the person I am today. I may never win Miss West Virginia USA and fulfill my dream of representing my state at a national level, but I sure am going to give it my all.