This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at WPUNJ chapter.
We all wanted to marry a Disney prince at some time in our lives, and to be completely honest, I still kind of want to. But after growing up (just a little), I re-watched the movies religiously and just recently noticed why our famous Disney princes would make for the most terrible boyfriends of all time. Here’s why:
- Li Shang- For such a smarty, General Li Shang could not for the life of him figure out that Mulan was a girl. He’s also the most sexist Disney prince known to man; no girl is allowed in his army under his nose!
- John Smith- The man literally came to kill people. He helped conduct genocide of lots of people. Not boyfriend material at all.
- Prince Charming aka Prince Henry – So you’re saying that you danced with a girl ALL night, but you can’t recognize her face?! Then, you decide to summon all the girls in the entire kingdom to find the one with the same shoe size as her? Seriously Henry? I’m getting some serious foot fetish vibes from you.
- Aladdin- A pathological liar. Okay fine. You don’t tell her on the first date; it’s fine not a good ice breaker. I understand, but, “He’s got seventy-five golden camels. Purple peacocks, he’s got fifty-three?” That’s kind of pushing it.
- Prince Naveen- SO vain. Also a liar. Apparently, he was broke, and he was going to marry Charlotte to inherit her dad’s money. So nahhhh, also not boyfriend material.
- Beast- My favorite, but man has this guy got some anger issues. “YOU WILL HAVE DINNER WITH ME OR NOT AT ALL.” Not only did he kidnap the girl, but then he practically forced her to stay forever and fell in love with her. Like who else was she going to fall in love with? Lumiere? Thanks for the library though. I’ll just hide there for the rest of eternity.
- Prince Eric- Kiss the girl already, jeez. Also, your eyes were open. I saw them. Yet, you STILL didn’t see Ariel’s face while she was singing to you? Hint, hint for next time, Prince Eric, just because the random girl on the beach sounds like your girlfriend, doesn’t mean she is your girlfriend. I still don’t know how you missed seeing all that bright, red hair. Shady.
- Flynn Rider- Britney vibes? “Mama I’m in love with a criminal.” Bad boys are cute, I know, but maybe he’s a little much? Also, have you seen his nose? And do you really want every argument of yours to end with “the smolder?” Nope, didn’t think so.
- Prince Phillip & The Prince (snow white)- These two have the same issue. Dude, can you please not kiss random girls in the forest that are obviously unconscious?! Not cool. Very weird.
- Kristoff- “Well he’s a bit of a fixer upper” “maybe it’s the clumpy way he walks? Or the grumpy way he talks? Or the pear-shaped, square-shaped weirdness of his feet? And though we know he washes well, he always ends up sorta smelly.” Hygiene, bro. Girls like hygiene.
Now I know this last one isn’t an actual prince, but I just had to add him. I mean, he acts like one doesn’t he? Therefore…
11. Gaston- Noooo Onnnneeee… is good for Gaston besides himself. Gaston loves Gaston more than Kayne loves Kanye.
Hope you enjoyed this! HCXO